Lean on me
by Simplysheree
Summary: Part of a retelling of all three games, set in a universe where Shepard is not the first human spectre, or even a soldier. After being found traumatised on Eden Prime by Commander Kaiden Alenko she is sent to citadel as a victim in the case against Saren. Garrus Vakarian is assigned as her Victim support officer and together they join forces with Spectre Alenko to fight Saren.
1. Careful (what you wish for)

**I own nothing whatsoever! **

**This story will follow the basic plot of Mass effect, but I have taken liberty with the facts. Shepard is not the first human spectre, Kaiden Alenko is. But Garrus and Shepard will take part in the overall mission!**

* * *

The tedium of C-sec was a comfort to Garrus, always had been. He'd done his military service and, truth be told, he'd enjoyed it immensely, perhaps a little too much. The violence of it all had got his blood moving, but he knew where that led: he'd end up like his eldest brother, well into maturity with no mate because his first reaction to anything he didn't under stand was to break it. So here he was…comfortably numb with boredom and wishing for maybe a little excitement, _maybe just a little? Is that so bad?_ He rubbed his eyes, looking at the heavy paperwork in front of him with bleary eyes and sighed. _When you can't even read what's in front of you, it's time to go home Vakarian._ Stretching out his stiff back, he grunted with satisfaction as a ripple of cracks ran down his aching bones,

"Getting old, G." The voice had a teasing edge to it, Delana laughed lightly, her silhouette framed by the light of a lamp,

"Definitely." His mandibles twitched in a small display of affection: she was an undoubtedly beautiful female and she'd often told him that she had feeling for him but…But for some reason he'd lost interest in females after Taetrus. He'd never known how brutal they could be. But since he wasn't inclined to try…anything else, it left him stranded. "Something you need?" The disappointment on her face was marked, causing a pang of guilt,

"No. Not me. Pallin wants to see you in his office."

"Pallin?"

"That's what I said." Her voice was cold as steel, having not gained what she wanted, she gave him a withering look and walked away _And there it is,_ the hostility, the quick change from harmless to vicious.

Pulling his jacket on, he transferred the relevant files to his Omni-tool and switched off the terminal before lifting his paperwork and visor. He was, as always, the last one out.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" Garrus' voice ranged slightly, taking on a harsher, nervous note,

"Yes." Pallin motioned for him to sit, "Don't worry officer, you've done nothing wrong." Garrus felt himself relax,

"I see…Is there something you'd like me to do?"

"Actually yes. I want you to take part in an investigation into the activities of Saren Arterius." Pallins face was unreadable, Garrus felt his mandibles flare in surprise,

"The spectre?"

"The very same." He looked around, "Are you the only officer here, now?" The executor seemed nervous, almost scared, Garrus would have said if he didn't know better.

"Uh, yes sir, I think Delana just left."

"Good, because this is important." Pallin stood, "I want you to take care of something very important to the case. That is to say," He motioned strangely, "Someone very important to the case. Someone Saren may want…removed from the picture." From behind a partition in the office stepped a woman: a human woman. A strange feeling hit him: an overwhelming affection for this tiny, soft creature who looked at him with huge, wide eyes. His brain kicked into work mode: she was small, but fairly well built considering her size, no threat to Saren physically. She looked utterly helpless, completely and utterly helpless… so why would Saren want her dead? _She knows something he doesn't want her to…_

"What does she know?" Pallin looked pleased that he asked the question, but had a strange look in his eyes, a searching look.

"We don't know." He motioned to the woman, "Why don't you go get some sleep?" She gave a slight nod and walked to the back of the office, opening a deceptively concealed door and slipping behind it. Pallin sat down, sighing, "She was found cowering in a shed on Eden prime, surrounded by dead humans and…creatures…"

"Creatures, Sir?"

"Yes…We're not entirely certain what they were and the Alliance wont give us there records. The creatures killed the other humans, but it would seem that she killed them." Garrus shot a look at the door,

"She did? But she's so…" He trailed off,

"So what, Officer Vakarian?"

"She looks so helpless, sir." Garrus deadpanned,

"Yes, well, she had a combat knife and many wounds when she was found." Pallin sighed and rubbed his face, "She's traumatised, she either can't speak to us because she doesn't remember, or she wont because she doesn't trust Turians."

"She's a xenophobe, sir?" For some reason that was disappointing,

"No, she's afraid of us." Another deep, heavy sigh "She's young and until recently she lived on a rural part of earth, she'd had no experience of Turians until Eden prime. Where she had two conflicting experiences."

"I see…" Garrus was getting tired, tetchy,

"One, a spectre called Nihlus found her and saved her life… two… and this, you understand, is where we get into her word against Sarens…" He shook his head, "Well all she'll say is that Saren showed up out of the blue, that Nihlus seemed surprised to see him. And when he turned his back, Saren shot him."

_Circles in circles, Spirits, why am I here?_

"Saren shot a fellow spectre."

"So she says." Pallin was pacing now, "She also says that he hurt her, but wont specify how… all I have are the medical records and they are…grim." He grimaced, "I'll forward them to you, but they don't make pleasant reading. Long story short, I want you to take her somewhere safe, look after her, gain her trust and get her to testify. Right now, she's all we have."

"You want me to be her VSO, sir?"

"Precisely." Pallin walked away and came back with a large file and a key, "That's the key for the back room, convince her to go with you."

"Go where?"

"Your home, for now…I know its unorthodox, but a spectre could find all the safe houses and due to protocol…"

"He'd not think to look for her in my home, not straight away."

"I know I'm asking a lot of you but-"

Garrus waved away the statement, feeling a bit of the old buzz come back,

"Someone has to look after her and I'm the only one here with real military training, I stand a better chance of deal with him than most."

"Yes." Pallin looked at his terminal, the seconds trickled by, the clock ticked away, eventually he looked up, "Dismissed, officer."

With a small nod, Garrus stood and slipped up to the door, using the key to unlock it and traversing the boundary. The room was small, with a bed and a small desk with a lamp. A safety room of some kind. The woman was sleeping on the bed, curled into a small shivering ball in the middle of the mattress with her shoes and jacket still on. _Nervous, not at all at ease…_ He cleared his throat, she didn't even twitch, he slipped his foot across the floor to move the desk slightly. She sat bolt upright, pushing away from him and into the corner of the room, already big eyes wide with shock and fear.

"Hey…It's ok…" He said softly, beginning to crouch down to her level whilst pushing away memories of another situation like this one, _hopefully this one ends better,_ "My name's Garrus. Garrus Vakarian, I'm your Victim Support Officer and I'm here to protect you."

"From him?" Her voice was as small as her, soft and high, his heart ached for a reason unknown to him,_ she's like a child, a little bird that's had it's wings broken…_

"Yes and anyone else who tries anything stupid." He opened his palm to her, holding it out in a beseeching gesture, "Please, I know you're first experience of Turian hospitality wasn't great, but I'm not going to hurt you."

"I believe you." She was smiling a little, but sadly, "I just don't think you can protect me."

"From Saren?"

"From what he plans."


	2. Patience

**Thanks so much to everyone who read!**

**Once again, I own nothing!**

**I know I'm taking real liberties with character histories, along with other things at the moment, but considering that I'm building this alternate Shepard from a non-military standing, I felt she needed to start off a little more on the vulnerable side before she could go full on badass.**

**Thanks,**

**Sheree x**

* * *

**Confidential Information.**

**Medical examination 2239247- 12/3/2183**

**Human female, answers to Immy, no known second name at present. **

**21 years of age.**

Garrus rubbed his eyes, shaking his head softly:_ here I am again, new job same shit…except now I'm sleeping on the couch because Pallin's instilled a strange woman into my house._ He slurped another mouthful of tea and flicked his eyes over the dense text before him, words jumping out at him, each one drawing him mood down further than the last: _Lacerations on left wrist…severe bruising of the abdomen…torn from scalp…blood vessels burst…deep cuts…from hip to thigh…_ _fracture in right femur…_and then there were the ones that really made his stomach turn_… 3__rd__ degree burns on feet…deep tissue bruising…punctures on the inner thigh…pronounced fracture on left side of hips._ _Spirits, she wasn't hurt, she was tortured._ He sighed clasping the back of his head, this certainly explained her frayed nerves and jumpy demeanor, what it didn't explain was how she could still sleep at all. It had taken her time to settle in, she had wandered about at first, pacing the small apartment again and again while he simply sat in the kitchen area with a cup of tea and a pounding headache. Eventually, after what felt like hours of pacing she sat down on the couch, back straight and stiff, knees pressing hard together, hands folded in her lap. She'd refused all but a drink of water before going to sleep and, somehow, he felt like it was his fault. _Is she afraid of me? Is she afraid of everything? She's always got that same, blank expression._ Rolling his neck and shoulders, he stood, hearing the click his bad knee made, but not acknowledging it with his usual hiss of pain. Without a second thought, he fell fully clothed onto the rickety sofa and slipped into sleep.

He woke to screaming.

Scrambling from the living room he burst into the small bedroom, unarmed but ready to face a real fight. What he saw didn't make sense: she was alone, but clearly distressed. Thrashing on the bed, mouth wide in a wordless scream, tears streaming from her closed eyes, he clamped his hands over his head in an attempt to block out the sound, but to no avail. It was high, piercing, tearing into his brain with ragged claws. He ran to the bed, gripping her by the arms and lifting her,

"Hey! Hey! What's wrong?" He resisted the urge to shake her until her teeth rattled, her eyes opened. The situation did not improve, her right fist caught him in the jaw, snapping his head to the left slightly before her knee crunched into his groin. The hit was off slightly, catching his pelvis, but it lifted him from the ground a little, the next two strikes were more punishing: her forehead connected with his eye socket, balled fist catching him squarely under the chin. He landed on the ground, gasping like a fish dragged from the water, waiting for the next blow and unsure of whether he was allowed to retaliate or not. _Well, you wanted more exciting work, idiot, you happy? Well done, you're going to get brained by a woman you can't hit back because you wanted a more eventful job._

"Oh shit. I'm sorry." She didn't sound sorry as she came into view, brows drawn in, face pale and haggard looking, "I thought you were- I though I was-"

"Yeah. I know." He winced in pain as he pushed himself up,

"You do?" She gripped him under the arm, helping him to his feet, he staggered slightly, noting the hiss of pain she loosed as his weight pressed on her. Sitting on the edge of the bed he sighed,

"Yes, I read your medical file last night." His eyes watered uncontrollably, "How are you, by the way? I heard you gasping, something still sore?"

"Yeah, my hips." She sighed, moving away from him a little, "But it's ok, the doctor gave me strong pills." A lengthy silence drew out between them, heavy and oppressive.

"Do you want to talk abo-"

"No." Her face was set, smooth and pale like marble, "No…not yet."

"Do you remember what happened? Any of it?" He was prying, he knew it, but the curiosity was too strong. She turned her face to him, the faintest yellow of an old bruise showing up in the dim light,

"All of it." She rubbed her arms, chewing on her lower lip hard enough to draw blood,

"I…" he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry if I make you frightened, but I am here to-"

"Frightened?" She frowned, "Why would you frighten me?" She was talking tough, but her hands were shaking, _caught her off guard last time, maybe a tougher nut than I thought,_

"Well, you've had a traumatic experience and according to Executor-"

"Shit on him." The vulgarity caught him off-guard, making him double take at her: she was hunched slightly, the colour had drained from her face leaving her paler than ever, _something no-one would believe. _He let out a slight click of amusement,

"Well…I cant imagine that would be comfortable for anyone. Least of all you, I mean," He gave her a sideways grin, "No one likes squatting with their ass in the wind."

She gave a short burst of shocked laughter, more of a bark than a chuckle, but for a moment she looked stronger,_ more…vital, alive, durable…just more,_ she shot him a scandalised look, as if she couldn't believe he'd said such a thing.

"Yeah…" She scratched her head, "Maybe I'll stick to the toilet, for now."

A small, shrill ringing cut the air,

"That's my Omni-tool, I better get it." With one fluid motion he was up and out of the room, lifting the device from the floor,

"Garrus." Executor Pallin's voice rang out,

"Sir?"

"I need to speak to you." He cleared his throat, "Bring your assignment with you."

"To your office, sir?" Garrus' mandibles tucked slightly in annoyance,_ why the cloak and dagger if he was just going to have me walk her through the stationing broad daylight?_

"No, to my home." The woman, Immy, was standing in the door way now, her hair lank around her face, she looked pensive,

"Can we take the time to eat and wash first, sir?"

"Wash if you must, you can both eat here." The line went dead, a small ping heralded a message with the Executors address enclosed within. Garrus cleared his throat,

"If you do want to shower, its through there." He pointed to a small, sliding door with an apologetic shrug, "I don't really have any soaps designed for humans, but the water might do the trick just now."

"Nah." She rolled her shoulders, "Lets just get this over with." A small, twist of her lips, _lips, what a strange word, then again she's a strange looking thing isn't she,_ "But…thanks." Another twist, bigger this time, her eyes were returning to that wide, innocent state he'd seen last night.

"You know you don't have to be scared of Pallin, right?"

"Yeah. I know, I think." She gave a small shrug that could have meant anything, "Lets go."

Pallin's home was spacious, airy, light and grand. It reminded Garrus of his grandfathers house and for that reason alone, he decided, he wanted to leave. Immy seemed to come to the same conclusion,

"I think I prefer your place."

"Yeah?"

"Yup." She turned her head this way and that, assessing every detail of the room, slim shoulders drawn in, "Even with the leaky tap."

"Leaky tap?" He gave her a quizzical look,

"Yeah… your kitchen tap drips. I heard it all last night." Her voice was small again, high and soft, _she's frightened again, or maybe uncomfortable? Is that a tell for humans and Turians alike? Their voices?_ He didn't know what to do with the information, so he looked away, hearing his stomach growl when a plate of hot food was laid in front of him,

"Huh, an omelette." She twisted her mouth again, _a smile, that's the word,_ she smiled a little, but it looked insincere, "Smells good."

"I'm glad to hear that." Pallin sat on the opposite side of the table, "You seem a lot more…settled than you did in the hospital, or in my office."

"I feel a little better now that the balls rolling." She took a large mouthful and, Garrus couldn't help but wonder if that was so she could avoid conversing with the Executor,

"Yes, well we've started a formal investigation and we'd like to take your statement soon, if possible?" The older Turian was watching her with a searching expression, "You need only deal with officer Vakarian, if you would prefer?" She said nothing at first, continuing to chew, taking a small sip of the orange liquid in front of her before looking at Garrus directly. Her eyes focused on the still slightly swollen eye that she had made such an impression on earlier,

"Yes… I would…That would be…acceptable." She seemed to hesitate on the brink of something before her eyes dropped to the omelette once more, "Thank you."

"I had one of my assistants collect some things for you," Pallin patted his face with a napkin, "Some spare clothing, a tooth brush, hygiene products, they will do until you can find some things that are more to your personal taste. Perhaps you'd like to see them? Ensure they fit?"

"Uh.." She paused, mid motion, "Yes, that would be…nice."

"My assistant has run you a bath." Even she seemed to know that she was being dismissed, though she seemed less offended than Garrus would have been, were he in that position. _Hell, she seems less offended than I feel for her._ He shook his head: Pallin was good at his job, but he was a tactless ass.

The executor placed two items upon the table in front of Garrus once she had left. The first was a large, beige file,

"The notes on the case so far, tell her anything she wants to know. See if she'll open up to you." Pallin twisted his head to the side, drawing a crack from his neck. The second item was a credit chit, "That is so you can purchase anything necessary to her comfort. A separate bed, clothing, food, books. Anything you feel will help her settle in." Pallin leaned forward, "Officer I need her to trust you absolutely, I need you to be her best friend, her big brother, whatever she needs to open up. Do you understand me? I want your home to be _her_ home and I need you to be her go to guy, her comfort blanket, because right now she is the most difficult witness, victim, hell the most difficult woman I've had to deal with. She wouldn't talk to me." _Because you treat her like a child,_ "Hell she wouldn't even sleep around me." _Because you make it obvious you see her as a commodity, rather than a victim, asshole,_ "And I'm getting sick of waiting on her to snap out of this prolonged anxiety attack she's having. I wont tiptoe for long, Garrus. I want her statement, I want her on the stand and I want Saren nailed to the wall. Get on it."


	3. A bad Turian

Pallin excused himself with a barely noticeable nod and left Garrus to think on his words. _Need to get her statement quickly, the quicker the better, then I can help with the investigation…_ He coughed slightly, sipping at his water to clear his throat,

"Jesus, Pallin must think I'm the size of a house." There was the slightest hint of amusement in her weary voice and Garrus could see why. The light cream jumper was like a tent on her slim form, the black trousers, however, were disconcertingly tight. Clearly whoever had chosen these clothes had no idea about human anatomy, _not that I'm the expert here,_ "Or a spaceship."

"Well at least they look…comfortable?" He sought for something to say, something to put her at ease, _anything…_ She sighed, that heavy sigh that he was already accustomed to, "We should go back." Standing he held out a hand to her, she sidestepped it and walked to the front entrance, "Do you want to stop somewhere and get a vid…or maybe a book?" She stopped and gave him a strange look,

"I'm in the witness protection system, we're not on a date." Her frown was severe, _how could I have though she was helpless? Spirits, she's a sullen, hostile, violent…_ her eyes changed, became softer, a little shy, "But- uh…thanks, for, you know. Wanting to make me comfortable." _…frightened young woman. Damnit Garrus, don't turn into Pallin._

The inside of the car was deceptively normal looking, but Garrus knew that the windows were tinted and bullet proof, it was designed to hide and protect its passengers. The slid through the streets of the citadel in silence, tense and wary of each other,

"This could be like any first date I've ever been on." He laughed, then felt his heart sink when he realised he'd spoken aloud, "You know with the tense silences and…" He trailed off and coughed, "Minus the bullet proof police mobile. You know?" He looked at her, feeling his mandibles twitch slightly, _the Turian equivalent of the awkward smile._

"Oh, I don't know…" She looked around her, "I can imagine some girls would be impressed." She chuckled, "You know what they say about men in uniform…"

"No." He leaned in a little, "No I don't, enlighten me."

"No comment." Her sudden change of tone startled him, until he realised she was perpetuating the joke, he laughed in earnest,

"You know, you're not how I thought you would be when I first met." She rolled her head to the side to look at him with half-closed eyes,

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I thou-" The door opened, a tall, Asari smiled at them,

"We've arrived at the destination. Have a nice day." She pressed a bag into Garuss' hands, "With the executor's compliments."

"What's in the bag?" She peered inquisitively at the plastic carrier in his hands,

"I don't know." He admitted, "I think they're for you." She rifled through the bag clicking her tongue slightly,

"Fresh clothes, a book about Asari culture, a tooth brush and some food." She tilted her head, "I guess he doesn't expect you to sort out my needs."

"Not today anyway," He shook his head, "I'm meant to be working patrol down on ward 27, I don't know how I could forget that." She bit her lip and looked down, allowing him to usher her inside. She sat on the sofa, chewing on a bar of brown…something from the bag,

"What's that?" He asked while buttoning his shirt,

"Chocolate. You want to try a bit?" She proffered him the bar, which admittedly smelled good,

"No, I'd like to live." She gave him a confused look before widening her eyes and nodding,

"Oh, of course." She smacked her forehead, "Dextro. Sorry. I don't know why I said something so stupid." His mandibles tucked in a small frown,

"Don't worry about it." He straightened his uniform, "I- uh," He looked at the clock, _9 am, already late,_ "I'll be back about seven tonight. There's water, there's room in the fridge for your food. The screen's there." He pointed at the wall before handing her the remote, "Make yourself at home, but don't open the door to anyone. I'll lock it on my way out." He noted that she was pale again, face rigid, he stooped to kneel in front of her, "Don't worry. I'll be the only person coming in here and I'll talk to Pallin about taking a break from patrol, if you'd prefer to not be left by yourself?" She gave a small nod, an almost smile and turned the screen on to a documentary about the Krogan rebellions.

"Hey, what did Pallin want with you?" Delana tilted her head to the side, light catching her fringe in a way that reminded Garrus just how lovely she was.

"He just wanted to update my patrol routes." He blurted the first thing that entered his mind, seeing the scepticism on her face, she shook her head, mandibles flaring in a grin,

"Ok Vakarian, you don't wanna talk, that's fine with me." He should have protested, told her that he loved talking to her, but that would have led to flirting and…._nope, not going there._ A flash of memory blinded him: blue blood dripping from teeth, a corpse half-

"It's nothing personal." He forced the memories away, "Trust me…is he in his office?"

"Who, Pallin?" She was really looking at him now, eyes narrowed, he nodded, "Yeah, he came in about half an hour ago."

"Thanks." He turned on his heel and strode away purposefully.

The door slid open easily,

"Sir?" Garrus stepped in cautiously, "Can I have a moment?" Pallin looked up from his paperwork,

"Of course, sit down."

"No, sir, I'm late for my patrol as it is…" He cleared his throat, "She seems reluctant to be left alone…"

"Well she would, you're not meant to leave her alone at anytime." Pallin gave him a strange look, "Why are you here, officer?"

"I'm meant to be patrolling ward 27... I wasn't aware that I was no longer needed."

"I see, of course." Pallin rubbed his face, "Forgive me Garrus, this case has me rather distracted. I'll get Chellik to assign someone to do your patrols until this case is over."

"You want me to go home, sir?"

"No, we'll need you on the street today." Garrus nodded, " Now tell me, have you come up with a strategy to get what we need?"

"I was going to give her a few days to settle in before I start prying, sir." he shrugged, " If I dive right in, she'll clam up."

"Well, if you think it's best." Pallin sighed, "Take her out, get her new cloths, make her feel like everything is normal, like she's your friend. But stay away from the presidium, and try to be inconspicuous. As far as we know, he's unaware of her survival, but we don't need him to find out, yes?"

"Yes sir."

"Very good. Off you go." Pallin waved him away as if he were an annoying child.

The ward was dull as ever, quiet with a light trickle of customers. This ward contained mostly electronics shops and used car dealerships. He'd spent the last nine and a half hours walking from one shop front to the next talking to their equally bored vendors and the other standing rock still in some dark corner or another. And all the time he was thinking about how to get the girl to talk, _I have to get her trust…but how?_ The question was a good one, but even with nearly half a days contemplation, he still couldn't find an answer. Expect the most obvious: _care about her._ Did he care about her, could he? _Well I don't want anything to happen to her, so I guess I care. Will that be enough? How can you care without crossing a line somewhere?_ One thing became clear: he needed advice from someone who knew better than him. He opened up his Omni-tool and dialled the station,

"Chellick, can you send Dorn down early, I got family stuff to deal with."

"Sure thing. He'll be on his way in five." His eyes flicked to the Sirta applications outlet where a young Asari attendant was looking rather distressed: an angry Kroagn seemed to be looming over her. He hung up and walked across, gun upholstered,

"Everything Ok, Nellia?" She looked at him, relief on her face obvious,

"No, actually, can you get rid of this guy?" She nodded to the Krogan, Garrus felt a twinge of anxiety; this might have been one of the biggest Krogan's he'd seen, his crest had three prominent gouge marks that ran all the way down his face, he snorted,

"I know you supply Fist, little girl and I know you have a direct link to him-"

"He's crazy Garrus." She looked at him with pleading eyes,

"-just tell him I'm coming for him. If he's smart he'll run. The shadow broker wants what's due to him. If that Quarian doesn't turn up, Fists body will turn up in the sewage system." With that the Krogan walked off, bumping past Garrus with a small chuckle, Garrus looked at the young Asari with searching eyes: she was very young to be involved with a guy like fist. But stranger things had happened, _what reason would he have to lie?_

"Everything alright, Vakarian?" Dorn came jogging up to him, "I saw Wrex leave here." The younger male was a little too pretty for Garrus' taste: it made it hard to take him seriously, but he had a good heart. More importantly, he came from a good family,

"Yeah, Guill, it's all good. I gotta go see my dad." They walked together, "Ward's been dead as dust today, should be an easy one for you."

"Great." The sarcasm dripping from the younger males voice made Garrus smile as he strode away. He hopped into his cruiser without a second thought: he'd return it to the station on his way home. As the causeway opened up in front of him, he saw that the artificial light was dimming to signify night time. _I miss sunsets._ A pang of nostalgia hit him as he remembered Palaven, he'd go back there soon, see the sights, talk to all those people he hadn't seen in years. Maybe settle down, start a family.

His fathers large house came into view, he swung the cruiser into the drive without pausing, barely letting it stop before he was out and up the stairs. He didn't knock, just strode in, the asari cleaner smiled at him,

"Garrus."

"Hi Elisa, he in his study?" The girl nodded, he returned her smile: she was a nice girl, he wasn't sure why his brothers were as down on her as they were. He took the stairs three at a time, making use of his long legs as he crossed the distance with ease. The heavy door slid open soundlessly, revealing his father: sitting at his desk, focusing on a pile of paperwork taller than Garrus' desk. As always. Garrus felt a small smile twitch across his face,

"Dad."

"Garrus." His father's mandibles flare in a wide smile, "I wasn't expecting you."

"No…I didn't plan on coming…can I ask your advice?" He took the seat on the opposite side of the desk, watching the other man's face apprehensively. His dad gave a sigh,

"Yes, I thought I'd be seeing you about this soon."

"You…" He felt surprise choke him, "You did?"

"Yes…Garrus, I know Delana might be making you uncomfortable-

"Delana?"

"But she's from a good family, she's a pretty female and…" His father silenced him with a hand wave, "The fact is, you can't hold on to what happened at Taetrus because-"

"Because what?" Garrus barked, "Because not all females rampage and kill their lovers legitimate children?"

"Because what you saw was an anomaly." His father sounded tired, "Because Rolanoa Veriden was severely unstable and had been abused most of her life. Usually while abusing substances herself. Because you signed up for the police force and that's the kind of thing you have to deal with now and then, you can't let it damage you." He was rubbing his head now,

"Delana came and talked to you about me." Garrus' voice was flat, stoic,

"Yes. She said she's having no luck with getting close to you."

"Because I'm not attracted to her," He leaned back in his chair before snapping upwards throwing it backward with a crash,

"Spirits, Dad! I came to ask your advice about a case at work, about c-sec ethics! Not my fucking sex life." He was pacing now, "You know what? Forget it, I'll figure this out myself." He stormed from the room, only faintly hearing his father calling after him,

"Garrus!"

"Fuck off."

By the time he got in, it was nearly nine and the girl had fallen asleep in a huddle on the couch, lights on, screen blaring, bottle of some orange liquid half empty beside her. He sighed,

"Hey." His voice came out harsher than he meant and she snapped awake, he reigned in the anger, speak more softly, "Hey, you fell asleep on the couch."

"You said you'd be back for seven." Her tone was joking, her eyes accusing, _nice going asshole, you just made this harder for yourself…_

"Yes…sorry, I was talking to Pallin about getting my patrols covered so that you don't have to be left alone anymore." Her eyes were less accepting that he wanted, but she seemed a little more comfortable,_ might be a long haul to get this one to trust me,_

"Pallin up your ass about getting me to talk?" She gave a weak smile, _up my ass? Is that an expression? _He chuckled,

"Well he'd like it yesterday, if that's what you mean." She pulled a face, "But-" He drew the syllable out, sitting down beside her, "I told him that you'd talk when you were ready and that I wasn't going to force you to do anything." She gave him a grateful look, nodding slightly,

"Thanks." She rolled her neck, draining the bottle, "Do you…So do you have the day off tomorrow?"

"Yeah…" He wrung his hands, torn, "Do you want to go out for a bit?" She gave him a strange look,

"Are we allowed to do that?"

"Well I suppose I could say that it's a necessary outing to get you food, clothes that fit…" That elicited a smile, "And we could play truant for an hour or so…go catch a vid." She looked unsure, "We wouldn't go far…" He continued, "There's a theatre less than fifteen minutes walk from here."

"Playing hooky, huh?" She chewed on the lip of her bottle, "That doesn't sound like a very Turian thing to do." She fixed him with a stare that seemed to pierce him to the bone, he let out a low chuckle that, if she could have heard sub-harmonics, would have told her how nervous she had just made him,

"Well, see there's one thing Pallin didn't tell you."

She arched a brow,

"I'm a terrible Turian."


	4. Turian Hospitality

They didn't go out that day: they got up, dressed and washed. Got to the door and opened it, that was when Garrus that noticed that she was standing rigid, face set like stone in the artificial early morning sunshine. At first he simply stared at her, unsure of whether or not to soldier on…then she backed away from the door, into the dim warmth of his apartment.

"You really want to stay in this dump?" He teased with a wry grin, she gave him a watery smile and nodded, knuckles white. "Ok." He moved back into the room, shutting the door behind him, locking it as an afterthought when she refused to turn her back to it. "I'll just order some food from the intranet for you."

"Thanks." She whispered, shoulders drawn in,

"If you want I'll order some vids too?" He stared at the side of her impassive face, she said nothing. A sudden blast of frustration left him in a sigh, "Will you talk to me? Look I know you're scared, I know you had a shitty time, but I am not here to hurt you!" She had turned to look at him now, "Spirits woman!" He knelt in front of her, "I want to make sure that you're ok! I want you to be happy and you're being difficult beyond reason!" She was giving him a hard stare, the kind that made him shiver a little,

"Why?" She tilted her head slightly, eyes narrow,

"Why what?" He snapped, finding himself irritated slightly,

"Why do you care?" She leaned forward, her lips wet, parted slightly, "Why should you care if I'm happy? If I'm comfortable? You want to know why I'm being difficult, _officer_?" her emphasis on the last word was like a whip lash, "Because your whole caring act…your good guy façade…" She sniffed exaggeratedly, "It smells of bullshit." She stood up, looming over him, "So why don't you enlighten me? If you care so much, why is it that you give a shit?" He was shell-shocked, flabbergasted,

"Because-"

"Yes." She stepped forward as he stood up, chest pressed to his, soft lips inches from his exposed neck,

"Because it's my job!" He roared, "Alright? Its. My. Fucking. Job." He bit off each word, "Its my job to take care of you, to care about you and every other fucked up, emotionally fucked shit-head that's funnelled through the system. So forgive me for actually trying!" They stood like that for a minute or so, eyes locked, her chin tilted up, his down. She chuckled slightly, eyes narrow, but warm, "What? What are you laughing at?" He barked more harshly that he meant to.

"I think that you might have just siad the most honest thing I've heard since I started dealing with C-sec." She gave him an appraising look, "You have a good heart, but you can't…You don't understand. Sometimes…" She chewed her lip, "You see something, you experience something that…"

"Something that changes everything." It was a question, not a statement, but she nodded anyway. "Something that changes you, even though you don't want it to."

"Yes." She sighed and looked away, "You've either been there, or not. There's no in between."

He stood, staring down at her as she shifted to sit on the sofa again and rubbed the back of her neck. He mirrored the action,

"Do you want some of that- uh…hot chocolate? You know the powdered shit Pallin put in the bag?" His mind was roiling with indecision: to share with her his own trauma might just open her up, but…_how can I talk about it? Like she says, you were there, or not. _

"Yeah." Her voice was hoarse, "I- um…yeah. Thank you, Officer." She flinched slightly when he placed a hand on her shoulder,

"Call me Garrus." His hands shook as he moved to the kitchen area, beginning to make the hot beverages with glacial slowness. The strange, raw, angry energy that was filling him spilled out into the air around him, leaving his breaths short, his mind fizzing. The click of the kettle made him jump, _boiled already?_ But set him in motion; filling the two cups, he strode through to the living room and sat beside her, ignoring the fact that she shifted away from him a little. Gulping the scalding liquid he shook his head,

"Spirits." He huffed, mandibles twitching slightly, "Tell you what…" He trailed off, "If I share my…" He growled a little in frustration, "Trauma with you, would you consider doing the same. With me, that is." His eyes slid to her: she was looking at him again, with those big thrice damned eyes that made him nervous, staring at him with rapt attention as if she could see his very soul, "I wont take it down as an official statement if you don't want me to…"

"What makes you think I wont just listen to you then not talk?" She was giving him a searching look, mouth twisted a little,

"Nothing." He turned to her slightly, throwing down more coffee, "But I'm willing to take that chance." She gave him a strange look,

"Ok…But I'll throw on something more comfortable." Standing stiffly, she winced,

"That's it." He clicked his tongue, "Sit." Her brows drew in, "I mean it, you've been flinching and hissing since I met you, I want to see what's causing you so much pain." He knew, of course, but the healing and tending of wounds was a common way to bond with Turians, perhaps this would help, "I might not be a doctor, but I trained as a field medic."

"A field medic, you were a soldier?" Her mistrust was instantly replaced by surprise, interest,

"Yes…five year military service was mandatory in the Turian Primacy when I came of age. I stayed for eight." She sat next to him, removing her shirt, he felt bile rise in his throat at the sight of her injuries,

"Did you enjoy it?." She twisted her head to look at him, eyes wide, awed, her pale, unmarred skin contrasted with the mottled, swollen skin on her back and side,

"I loved it." He said softly, sadly,

She made a small sound in the back of her throat as he prodded a set of nasty looking gashes, "I turn twenty-six in two months." She said it nonchalantly, but he felt a fizz of excitement: he knew she was throwing him a line, something to show that she didn't mistrust him, _she just doesn't know what to do with me,_ "How old are you, Garrus?"

"Thirty." He stood, "I'm going to get my med kit, those scratches look infected." She looked dubious, "Unless you'd rather I report it to Pallin and take you to Huerta?"

"No." She sighed, throwing him a venomous look. When he returned, he drew out a pocket knife and placed it into a small jar of sterilising fluid,

"Good." He rolled his shoulders before lightly touching the gouges, "This looks like it was cause by talons…" She gave a meaningless shrug, "Painful?" She nodded, "I see…" He sighed, "I enlisted for mandatory service at fifteen…I actually trained in the same compound as him…"

"Who?" She tried an failed to sound uninterested,

"Saren." He removed the knife from the fluid, readying it, "After my service, I joined the colonial police force, got shifted around from place to place for two years, ended up taking another two out before I joined C-sec, been here three years now." He dug into the yellowish crust of the first gouge: she didn't wince, either a bad sign, or a testament to her pain threshold. Foul smelling pus oozed out, as he suspected it would have,

"Did you not enjoy colonial life?" Her voice was tight, pained,

"I loved it." He wiped the pus and administered the anti-septic fluid, wincing as she let out a pained whine, before moving onto the next, "But sometimes things happen that change everything, I had to get out of there." They sat in silence as he tended the next two, breaking it only as he began to stitch the freshly cleaned wounds,

"What happened?" She sounded weary, wary,

"I-" He sighed, "I'll call in some food. Anything you want?" She stretched out her new stitches,

"Yeah, I guess a curry if you know anywhere that does them…Jalfrezi? With some Naan and rice."

"I'll see what I can do." He looked at her, "Beer?" A sunny smile broke out on her features, "Yeah. I like Asahi, if they have it."

When the food arrived, they sat in silence, devouring their meals with relish and more than a measure of desperation. Forestalling what was coming, but as the food dwindled, he began to feel her eyes on his face again and when he eventually found the courage to look up, she was staring at him, torn naan bread in one of her small, alien hands, beer in the other. Scooping the last of her yellowish rice onto the bread she sighed,

"That was good."

"Yeah?" He bit hard into the chewy delicacy he had ordered,

"Best meal I've had in a long time…" Her strangely shaped eyes flicked over him, "What's that?"

"It's a…well I supppose a dumpling, you'd say." He tilted his head, "Red meat and spices, some dairy matter." Her face creased a little,

"You're eating a cheeseburger?" She snorted, "Ok, fair enough…I cant believe you found Asahi. It's one of the oldest brands of beer that comes out of earth!"

"Well.. I am talented." He chuckled,

"So it would seem." Her eyes trained on him again, head tilted to the side slightly, she took a swig of her beer, "So…You promise me a story, Off-" She stopped, correcting herself, "Garrus."

"Yes. I did, didn't I?" He had hoped she'd forgotten, running his hands over his cloths, he sighed wearily. _Always had to come out, better her than a shrink, no?_ "For the last three years of my colonial service, I served on Taetrus, a Turian colony that mostly deals in agriculture…And there was this woman, Rolanoa Veriden, beautiful but…bad you know? Not all there, always in trouble…" Now that he was talking, it all could have happened yesterday.


	5. Taetrus

**I don't own anything! **

**This chapter concerns past events and is told from Garrus point of view, it is a little dark and twisted near the end so I'm giving you a fair heads up. I know I'm taking artistic license with certain details, but hopefully I'm making a good job of it. Thanks !**

* * *

"Rolanoa Veriden." Leander snorted, mandibles flaring, "That female is a real nasty piece of work." Garrus stood with the older male, looking at the female who paced back and forth in the cells, snarling and spitting like she was crazy.

"Yeah.." Cleaden shook his head, mandibles tucked in a disgusted sneer, "But that Hawlen treats her like dirt. I'd be pissed off if I was her."

"Hawlen?" Garrus tilted his head, a faint susurrus of recognition hummed through him, "The Armour tycoon?"

"No, his son." Leander snorted, "He's already got a mate and two children, but he's got this crazy little piece on the side too. Everyone knows." The last statement was almost defensive,

"Everyone but his mate." Cleaden piped in with a ,malevolent smirk, "It's one of the main reasons he's so generous with donations to the military veterans charity." Garrus felt anger, bitter as bile rising in his throat: men like Hawlen made him sick, made him despair of his own species. Even Krogan found themselves capable of monogamous relationships, so why couldn't someone who had, supposedly, had some of the best education and upbringing around? The female threw herself at the door of her cell with a curdled howl before pacing back to the small, prison issue bed.

"Should we sedate her?" Garrus felt a small pang of concern for the female: she would hurt herself eventually. The other two laughed maliciously,

"You can, if you want." Leander said with a snort, "If you can handle the concussion."

"She'll injure herself at this rate." He watched her throw herself against the door again,

"You want her sedated, Vakarian?" The older male look at him incredulously,

"Yes." He tucked his mandibles in defiance, "It's in her best interests."

"Fine, but you can do it." Leander stood and left the room, shaking his head as he went.

"Get back against the far wall." Cleaden's voice was cold and flat, Rolanoa turned to look at him with a predatory gleam in her eyes,

"Going to shoot me this time, Gryll?" Her voice held a nasty edge, the younger male bristled,

"No. More's the pity, and that's Officer Cleaden to you." he motioned to Garrus, "Ok Vakarian, spirits protect you…And trust me, you'll need their protection." Garrus stepped forward, pulling a confident façade about him like a cloak, just like he had so many times on the battlefield. Rolanoa surveyed him, eyes narrowed to venomous slits,

"Ooh, I see. You're the new 'good cop', huh? Here to sedate the distraught damsel, lest she hurt herself?" She let out a whiplash of laughter that almost sent him reeling: she wasn't mad, not crazy like some people had told him. Just cruel, vindictive, bitter and determined to spew bile into the face of anyone who would dare to extend a hand.

"No." He deadpanned, "I just want you to shut the fuck up."

"Oh, I see!" She threw back her head, "Oh yes, I like you Vakarian. Let me guess you…" She pointed a talon at him as she back away from him, "Were a career military man? You don't seem like the mandatory service kind of man. You strike me as a Captain."

"Major." Her tone was grating on him now, he strode forward a few steps,

"I'm impressed." She tilted her head, "No really, not often that a leatherneck like you makes it that far." That was the last straw,

"What makes you think I'm not a citizen of Gariea?" he stopped, almost as interested as he was irritated,

"Well…are you?" She moved forward a step, he heard Leander hiss,

"No…I grew up in a small town three hours away from Remdius."

"You're accent gives you away, pet." She was moving forward confidently now, a vicious looking grin on her features, mandibles flared wide enough to show teeth, "It's ok though, I wont hold it against you." She rushed forward, lunging at him with surprising ferocity. Then slumped against him, he lifted her and placed her on the small, rickety bed before removing the empty syringe of sedative from her side.

He slipped out the cell and shut the door behind him, ignoring the amused and slightly awed looks the other two were giving him.

"That was pretty impressive, Vakarian." Leander tilted his head as a gesture of respect, "You had her number all along, huh?"

"She's not crazy." Garrus said simply, "Just nasty…and predictable."

"Well, you can watch her tonight." Cleaden chuckled, "I'll take Warban." Garrus double took,

"You'd actually rather watch a Batarian serial rapist than one, admittedly vile, but otherwise normal woman?"

"Yeah. One hundred percent."

"Fine. I'll stick here."

The night drew out like a bad wound, he spent the first portion lolling half in sleep, head drooping slightly. That was before she woke and started screaming, insults against him, his family, his ancestors. Against Hawlen, vile, graphic threats, anything she could think of to rile his ire, to anger him. He knew what she wanted: she wanted him to blow up, to explode into rage and open to door to teach her a lesson. He stared at her with weary eyes, head pounding, throat dry and tight. Eventually she slumped against the cell door, looking at him with an almost hurt expression.

"How'd you get so good at not caring, hmm farm boy?" She seemed genuinely interested, "How do you not let it bother you?"

"Let what bother me? Your insults?" He grunted,

"Yeah, those and just…" She motioned helplessly, "Everything." _Interesting…_

"I let go of my pride." He look at her directly, "I learned that dignity is not the same as pride, in fact, it's easier to be dignified without pride. Letting go of the slights that other put on you…it's not always easy, but its worthwhile."

"Slights…" She trailed off, "He deserves a world of pain, you know." It was not a question, "All I've done is treat him with respect and kindness and all he's ever done is throw it back in my face for that frail, sickly little bitch." She snarled, "They've been together for fifty years and this is the first child she's kept full-term. It's a weak little thing too." There was a cruel gleam in her eyes that made his plates itch, "I should destroy him…but I don't. Why do you think that is Vakarian?" The intensity of her stare nearly nailed him to the wall.

"Because you're not as nasty as you act?" He shrugged, "Because all this bile… its down to hurt and not insanity?" She laughed again, a high, cold sound,

"Maybe, farm boy….maybe." She meandered over to the bed and curled up on it once again, rolling over and falling into a deep sleep almost instantly, staying that way for the rest of the night.

"Rolanoa Veriden." A tall, high ranking officer that Garrus knew only as Xanz stood in the door, "Your bail has been paid, you're free to go. The plaintiff will drop all charges if you pay reparations. You have two days to consider it." With that he opened her cell door and gave her a clipboard with paperwork attached to it, "Sign and initial."

"I know." Her hands shook a little as she took the forms from him, she seemed tense, anxious, almost excited. It made him uneasy, _like she's got a plan, like she knows something we don't._ "And don't worry Officer, I think this'll be the last time I'll be in this cell." _Well that sounds ominous…_ With that, she took the few belongings she'd had on her when she was arrested and left. There was a short silence before Garrus turned to Leander,

"Is it just me, or did you get a weird feeling from her?" The older male didn't respond, just sighed and shook his head,

"We'll be seeing her again…We always do." Leander sighed, "You want to go get something to eat, Vakarian? We're on back up call all night, so it'll be a long one."

"Yes…" He trailed off, "Yes, that sounds good. Don't want to fall asleep on duty."

As they slipped from the station, they drove in silence, eyes focused on the road ahead, lost in their own thoughts until they reached a small café,

"This is a good little place." Leander nodded to the dingy looking doorway, "It looks grimy, but the food is first class."

"Great…Fine." Garrus nodded his absent-minded assent and followed his colleague into the building, sitting where he was bidden and staring at the menu with vacant eyes. He couldn't shake the feeling that Rolanoa was planning something. That she had a strategy all work out to 'deal with' her problem. It was gnawing at him like a rabid varren; that inescapable feeling that something very, very bad was looming on the horizon.

"…do you want?" A tallish waitress loomed over him, looking more than a little annoyed, her mandibles flared slightly in frustration,

"The same." He said, nodding to Leander, "The same as him." She sighed and tutted,

"So you want a warm shot of Ryncol, a pint of bitter beer, a burger on a seeded bun with salad and a berry ice bowl with citrus sauce?" She sounded disbelieving,

"Yes." He said flatly, "That's exactly what I want, but give me baked roots with my salad."

"Very well, sir. I'll bring out the ryncol first?"

"Please." Leander flared his mandibles in a flirty grin, "Ignore my colleague, he's a little simple." He chuckled and rolled his neck as she left, before turning to Garrus with and exasperated sigh "By the spirits, what is wrong with you Vakarian?"

"Sorry, I-" he slumped a little, "I'm worried, Leander, I have a bad feeling about that female."

"Who, the waitress?" Leander sounded incredulous, "Don't be-" He cut off the conversation with a glance as the female returned with their drinks, "Thank you."

"No…not her….Rolanoa." Garrus rubbed his face, downing the ryncol, "Should we be drinking if we're on duty?"

"Back up duty, Vakarian, back up duty. The only way we'll get called is if something calls away all the on duty officers."

"So, its unlikely that we'll be doing anything?" Anxiety was forming a tight ball in his stomach, Leander chuckled,

"I would say its almost impossible." They sat in silence for a while, mulling over the state of the grimy café until a young asari brought over their meals, Garrus nodded his gratitude to her before tucking in. He looked at Leander from a mouth full of burger,

"I can't shake the feeling that she was up to something when she left. That she's going to do something really, really fucked up. She was too calm." the other male sighed and wiped his face plates clean,

"Spirits, Vakarian…you worry far too much. She's not an evil genius and she's certainly no criminal mastermind. So she slashes Hawlens car, or shits on his doorstep, who gives a fuck? All that'll happen is that she'll end up back in the cells for another night and the whole process'll start up again."

"Yeah but didn't I read in her file that she uses red sand _and_ hallex?" Garrus downed some beer,

"So what? So do half the Batarians in the crater, what's your point?"

"Well…" Garrus trailed off, feeling more and more the idiot as he pushed onwards, "Hallex is bad enough on its own, but mixed with red sand, it's got a tendency to cause psychotic breaks from reality, violent tempers, mood swings, psychological dislocation.""You a doctor now?" Leander sneered,

"No, but I've seen enough stupid, crazy and just plain bad people to know that that woman is dangerous, add to that the fact that she's obviously possessive of Hawlen and resentful of his wife and child…." He let out an angry growl, "I can't place it Leander…it's like when you're out in the field and the atmosphere just doesn't feel right, you know? When it's too quiet…too calm, when the jobs just too easy. Well she was too calm, too happy and I'm telling you that nothing good is going to come out of this" Leander was staring at him, jaws slightly agape at his outburst,

"Spirits Vakarian, I know you transferred from vice, but you've got a seriously grim outlook, you know that? Even for a Vicvi."* He laughed, wolfing down the last of his food, "Come on, eat up and lets get back to the station, I'll play you at skyllian five." The bill came to them with a frosty nod from the Turian waitress, they split the total and left a small tip before heading back to their cruiser.

The radio crackled as they drove, blaring snippets of conversations and broadcasts at random intervals, bludgeoning the silence with clumsy blasts of white noise. Suddenly it blared into life,

"All free officers report to Ventallis Square, repeat all unengaged on duty officers to the square. Celebrations for the batarian holidays are getting out of control." Garrus looked at the radio,

"Should we help?"

"Nah, if they wanted back ups they'd have said." Leander indicated in to the station road with smooth efficiency, "We'll wait and see." He slowed to a crawl as they pulled into the parking space, "Look don't-" The radio crackled to life again,

"Armed assistance required at 2367 Galve avenue, I repeat, armed assitance required at Galve Avenue. Suspect is not armed but is dangerous and volatile." Leander slumped back,

"We've got this one, switch." He knocked the cruiser into reverse and flicked the siren. Garrus sat up apprehensively,

"Galve? Leander isn't that where Hawlen lives?" He looked at the older officer, watching his face pale underneath the green colony markings,

"Shit." He sped up, Garrus groaned a little feeling that sinking sensation, that prickling on the back of his neck that always seemed to herald a major shit storm.

The scene was nightmarish: Gergarin Hawlen was lying on the ground, bleeeding profusely from his head, one of his mandibles had been torn from his face and his breath was coming in short, sharp gasps. His wife was screaming, not shouting, screaming, it was a high, frightened sound that sliced straight through Garrus. Rolanoa Veriden had officially lost what remained of her twisted mind. When she turned to them her eyes were flat and empty as the night sky, _Hallex and red sand, fuck, I knew it,_ she was off her face and angry. She was also holding a small child, Garrus' blood ran cold as ice; he knew why Hawlens wife was screaming, not because she was hurt, but because she knew that something abhorrent was in progress, something she had no way of stopping,

"Hello Farm boy." Rolanoa looked at him with blank, spiteful eyes and laughed, "Isn't he a precious little thing…" She held out the child, "Shame he's so sickly…children are so…fragile…"

"Don't!" Venia Hawlen stepped forward, "Don't you dare hurt my baby you barefaced bitch!" The frail, pale, shy little creature that people always took pity on was gone: replaced by an avenging goddess, she looked terrified, but there was steel in her voice and a tension to her spine, "I'll rip that ugly fringe off your head, by the spirits I will, you want to tangle with someone, you fight me, not my eight month old baby."

"Please." Rolanoa snarled, "There's no need for that, I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't?" Garrus stepped in, handgun raised, "Because, I'm not convinced."

"No. I just want to teach that bastard," She nodded to Hawlen, "A lesson." She stepped over to him, nudging him with her foot, "Hey you…wake up, come on you son of a whore, wake the fuck up." Amazingly Hawlen stirred with a agonised moan, his eyes opened blearily, his eyes flicked to Garrus, filled with confusion, then to his enraged mistress. The rest of the colour drained from his face, _who'd have thought that was possible? _But it was, he gasped and gurgled shaking his head, reaching out with bloody fingers for his only son,

"No." Rolanoa spat, "No you listen to me, I want to you understand exactly what you've done. What you've caused." She raised the child a little as Garrus moved forward, talon twitching on the trigger, "No! Don't you get any ideas Officer Farm boy, don't. If you fuck with me things are going to get ugly." She screamed the last word, eyes suddenly filling with hellfire and fury,_ fuck, she's gone, crazy as a rabid Varren,_. She looked down at Hawlen with a strange, cold light in her eyes, "You caused this you son of a bitch and now you're going to pay for it." With that statement, she drove her teeth into the side of the child she was holding and tore her head back. Garrus' reaction was instantaneous: squeezing lightly he emptied his clip into her head and neck, ignoring Venia's strangled scream, Leanders roar of outrage. The child did not squall or wail, it lay still, blood and entrails gushing from the wound in it's side. Garrus couldn't tear his eyes from her bloody form, querying distantly whether the blood on her teeth was hers, or the child's.

* * *

*** "vicvi" Slang term for a Victim orientation, internal crime and vice investigator. A canopy position set up to improve communications between departments.**


	6. A spark in the Abyss

Her pale eyes were unreadable, trained on his face,

"So what did they do to you?" _She's a sharp one,_ _not very sentimental…that's impressive, _

"Nothing. Well," He chuckled roughly, "Not really. They put me in for 'psychiatric re-evaluation', declared me unfit and put me on mandatory, paid leave for a year…I saw a Salarian psychiatrist who told me that it was normal to be distressed after what I saw. But that the reluctance I was showing towards trusting females was a sign of my 'trauma'" He shook his head, "I told him that my lack of trust was natural, in fact it was smart."

"Do you still feel that way about women?" She had her small face tilted to the left, eyes soft, but guarded,

"No…" He dragged the syllable out, "Not really…not all the time. Usually, though."

"I can understand." She was nodding now, sipping her beer, "I would probably feel the same way and mental illness, drug use, those things can make anyone dangerous. Even if they weren't before hand." She let out a warble of laughter, "Better cautious than dead." He snorted with laughter and their eyes met, there was a moment of understanding between them: a split second where their respective 'trauma's' overlapped and left them with an even playing field, clear of obstacles. A place where their mutual mistrust for all others could become a reason to trust each other. He took a deep, shuddering breath,

"So, will you tell me what happened to you?" He craned his head back as he drained the last of his warm beer from its bottle, she mirrored him, licking her lips and then sighing,

"Yeah, I guess. But only if you get us two more beers."

"That's a deal I can make…" He trailed off, realising that he still hadn't asked her name, "What should I call you?" She seemed to consider the question for a minute,

"Well my given name is Amellasia…" She gave a wry smile, "But no one calls me that, hell no one can pronounce that. But when I was little, I couldn't pronounce the A, let alone the whole thing. I used to tell people I was called Immy. Then again, my friends used to call me Lessa. Maybe you could call me that?"

"Sure thing, Lessa." He pulled the two beers from the fridge and sat opposite her treating her to an attentive stare as he waited for her to start.

The world was shaking, ending all around her, Lessa screamed as an explosion rocked the air. The marines that had been stationed on the colony were involved in a vicious fire-fight; a dark haired soldier had come running into the garage, her eyes wide, gun drawn. She had screamed at Lessa to run, to get into a safe place and stay there. So she had done just that, grabbed her tool belt and emergency kit and ran. At first she'd felt foolish: running when there was clearly no danger…then the screaming started, just as she reached the farm supply sheds, the gun shots and that strange, metallic grating sounds. She holed up in a shed next to a group of young farmers, shushing them with impatient, but kind words. Through a crack in the metal slats she saw him. A tall, imposing figure: angular and majestic, directing the monsters that snarled at his heels with an impetuous, uncaring eye. Behind him a woman graceful as the wind, her pale, sky blue skin glistening under the hellishly bright sunlight,

"We must find the beacon." Her voice was cold as ice, sharp as the razors edge, graceful she might have been, but in the way of a whip, rather than a silk cord.

"Do you think I'm unaware of that fact?" His voice ripped through her: deep and gravely, angry beyond belief as if life were a frustration he must endure only because a greater prize awaited, just beyond his grasp.

"Of course not." She gazed disdainfully at a mechanical warrior as it beetled past, growling in its strange fashion, "It seems it has been moved. To the other side of the colony."

"Then we must use the tramway." He bit off, "Mustn't we?" With that they moved off, trailing death in their wake like the train of a wedding dress. Lessa turned to the young men and women behind her,

"You have to be quiet." She whispered, body taut and frightened, she pointed to herself, "I'm going to the comm centre, to send out an SOS-"

"You can't! You don't stand a chance!" One of the young women surged forward, clutching her hands, "Just wait it out, with us!"

"No, I can't." The frustration was ripe, bulging and ready to burst at this womans cowardice. "They're after that artefact you guys found, you think they'll do anything good with it? Someone has to do it and I'm volunteering." She ripped her hand away and stopped, "Block the door behind me." A young man nodded, gripping her arm tightly before pressing a wicked looking combat knife into her hand,

"Take this, you'll need it more than me." With a nod of gratitude and a long, hard look at his freckly, sun kissed face with it's long, straight nose and perfectly formed love heart mouth, she slipped out into the open air. The world was becoming deathly still now, there were no more gunshots, the screams had become weak wails. She stood for the merest moment, torn between running to the comm centre, which would involve going after the figures, or away from them, back to her garage. Her sense of moral duty won out and she bounded after the duo and their death guard.

The first sounds that became overtly obvious to Lessa were also alien, raw, wet sounds that made her slightly queasy. She peeked around the corner of a tool shed and blanched at what she saw. One of the marines, Tomak, she had heard him called, lay on the ground not ten feet in front of her, his wide, black eyes staring at the sky emotionlessly, his snowy blonde hair matted with the dark arterial blood that pooled underneath him. A vaguely humanoid creature crouched over him, face pressed into his abdomen, snarling and twisting. She wretched, coughing a little; its head snapped up immediately, dead, glowing eyes locked on to her, blood and stringy gore dripping from its chin. With an inhuman roar it threw itself towards her, hands reaching for her long before it reached her. She had only enough time to throw up the combat knife before it was on her, hands clawing, gouging, teeth snapping inches from her face like a rabid animals. Lessa screamed, thrashing underneath the creature, finding, all of a sudden, a reservoir of strength that she had never known existed. With a howling shout, she pushed it up and off of her, rolling with her own momentum to sit atop it and raise the knife above her head, bringing it down in a deadly arc into the creatures head again and again. It lay still, but didn't bleed. With shaking legs, she stood and ran away from it, towards her goal only by chance. The battle rush was on her and she couldn't have told whether fear or blood lust drove her on, but it was a potent force. Choosing to avoid the quicker, but more perilous tramway, she ran the distance, meeting few obstacles along the way.

The comm centre was a small, nondescript building at the far end of the tram station, a run down and shabby building and yet it was the most beautiful she had ever seen. With a grateful, shivering sigh, she slid into the cool gloom of the comm room, freezing when she saw the body of two marines slumped next to that of one of the strange mechanical soldiers. They all stayed still as stone, a macabre game of musical statues, but after a few moments, it became clear that they were all long dead. She skittered forward grabbing a hand gun from one of the marines, reloading it with amateurish hands before making her way to the console. She tapped the buttons, sighing as the speakers hissed at her, spitting their defiance.

"Something's blocking the communications. Shit." A bead of sweat dripped from her nose onto the buttons, "Shit." She wracked her brains, trying to tear loose any shred of information that could help her to remedy the situation. Her eyes landed on a combat sensor attached to one of the assault rifles. "Maybe…" She grabbed it and slid out the door again, eyes trained on the door handle, she closed it slowly barely hearing the click.

When she turned, they were there.

The wind and the fire. They stood, staring at her with amused expressions.

"Such a strong little maiden." The old beauty laughed, "I sense something of the warrior in her." The fearsome one said nothing, head tilted as if listening to a faraway voice,

"She has something of the old ones in her…" They looked at each other,

"Do you think she may understand the visions better than we?" He nodded,

"It's possible." He said simply, the old one laughed again, motioning to one of her mechanical henchmen,

"Take her, but do not kill her."

Take her, but do not kill her. Lessa's mind went into overdrive: they would not shoot to kill, therefore she had a small point in her favour, what could she do to maximise this? She let her hands droop, her head lower, she backed away slowly, eyes wide and frightened. As one metal hand reached for her, she spun towards it, ramming the borrowed hand gun into her would be captor, pulling the trigger and feeling it jump. A sharp crack in her wrist drew a yell of pain from her lips, she fired again and again. The creature staggered back, she fired into its chest and stomach before spinning to face the snakes dual heads. She fired at him with gritted teeth, missing his head by the smallest fraction. When she pulled the trigger again, nothing happened and there was a moment where her blood ran cold.

"Shit." She drew the knife rushing the woman with a rebel yell, but found herself floating, drawn taut and firm by an unknown force. She laughed again,

"Such fire, now do you understand why humans are so irrepressible, so indomitable?"

"Enough, I'm done hearing about your love of the human spirit. Just bring her." So she was brought. Brought to bear the rage of a lost race, the beacon was beautiful beyond measure: wreathed in a greenish haze it was tall and elegant in a way that human architecture never managed to be. She fell from her levitation, landing on her knee's in front of it, feeling its power prickle on her skin immediately.

Lessa struggled and cried as she was drawn forth, begging, pleading no, then cursing, spitting nails and threatening pain, revenge death. Then she was silent, drawn up, stiff and unseeing, blinded by the sensations that assailed her. What came next was no less than mental rape, she twisted and turned down the corridors of her owns mind, trying helplessly to escape from the mindless beast that came thundering after her. Throwing before it it's suffering, it's rage and avaricious lust for her attention, her unwavering devotion to its message. She saw a sky gone blood red, heard a metallic wail of despair, the thundering roar of creatures so vast and ancient that it torn a gaping wound in her mind to even try accepting them. She saw them slip silently through the depths of an abyss so dark that she knew that no light had ever reached there, or ever would. She felt blood, hot and sticky run through her fingers, over her face, down her throat. She felt, for a moment, the chilly breath of her own mortality on the nape of her neck, saw a speck of light in the dark and knew that it was her. Her life, her existence in the eyes of such ancients. It flickered once, twice in the darkness giving her hope, warming her heart, it flickered again and was extinguished.

She screamed in the suffocating void, seeing only one more thing of clarity: a strange monument, like a relay, but standing vertically, languishing in a dead city.

When she woke, it was with a small gasp. Her eyes fixed on the sky,

"What did you see little one?" The cold one loomed above. Her teeth flashing as she spoke,

"I saw…." Lessa's throat was painful, dry, "I saw death, my death, your death. The end of all things."

"She lies!" His fury was doubled, tripled, a sharp kick to her side rendered Lessa senseless and she flopped, boneless. Pain followed in numberless forms, waves and densities. It would stop at intervals so she may be asked,

"What did you see? Where is it?" And she would answer,

"I saw a dead city. I saw death." And it would begin again. She would scream and beg, plead and sob and let out high slobbering wails, snot and tears mixing on her face. And then through the haze came the sounds of gunfire.

The sun was on its descent. She shuddered in pain, with a wrench that devoured what had to be the last of her strength, Lessa rolled onto her belly and crawled from the, now broken beacon. She crawled, sobbing and crying until she came to the door of a small shed and hammered on it until her knuckles bleed. From inside came the sounds of argument until the shed door slid open and she was dragged inside by rough hands.

"What the hell happened to you, girl?" And older man floated above her, "And how in Gods name did you survive." Her eyes focused upon the golden crucifix dangling from his weathered neck, when she didn't answer he cursed. A howl rang out and they all jumped, he began to pray,

"Oh our father who art in heaven…" She mouthed the words, they felt comforting to her,

"Hallowed be thy name…" She whispered, watching the crucifix swing as a hammering sounded on the door. She gripped the hilt of the young farmers knife, wondering if he had survived. She pushed herself up, shifting back to sit against the wall, watching them brace the door. Watching it break in, seeing them pour through. She found another burst of strength from somewhere, but she was no longer surprised. She had found that piece of her that craved life above all else, that would fight tooth and nail for every breath. Gripping the blade she stood, watching the older man and two younger, possibly his sons, dispatch two of the creatures at the cost of their own lives. A young woman was dragged to the floor, thrashing as their teeth sunk into her. Lessa lunged, attacking the creatures while they busied themselves with the girl. Removing two of them from the fight. And now it was them, them and her, two against one. With a scream she ducked under ones out stretched arms ramming the knife into its forehead, feeling the others teeth sink into her shoulder. She threw herself down onto the ground and wrestled with it, fingers hooked under its jaws, legs kick and thrashing. A crunch ended it: its head pushed back at and awkward angle, it's arms flailing weakly. With one last strike, the coup de grace, Lessa removed its head from it's shoulders and slumped onto the ground.

The world became a blur, an impressionist painting of itself. And then, there was one more face: at first, Lessa tried to ignore it. But it wouldn't go away, she looked at it in earnest. A man of about thirty, handsome, with big brown eyes and a deep, warm voice. Like sinking into honey,

"You're going to be alright. Trust me, everything's going to be ok, I wont let anything happen to you." She smiled up at him, seeing a slight twitch of surprise on his face, "You're a tough little thing, aren't you?"

"Hey commander, I recognise her." The dark haired woman from before, "She's an engineer, I told her to hide. Do you think she's the one who turned on the comm unit at the station?"

"It's possible…she certainly seems like a fighter." She sank into the syrupy warmth of his voice and when he lifted her, she allowed herself to sink into his arms.

"How did she survive, she's not a soldier! She's not even an alliance engineer, she's a civvie!"

"I dunno Ash. Sometimes there's a spark in someone that wont go out, no matter what happens. I learned that at BaAT, maybe she just didn't want to die." She was shifted in his arms, "Maybe she was just born to live, no matter the cost, no matter the pain."


	7. On your side

**Wow, I can't believe how much support this story is getting!**

**I just want to say thank you to everyone who's read and reviewing, it means alot to me!**

* * *

The clock hit 2 am by the time she finished speaking, Garrus had been to collect and came back with four more beers for each of them and the whole night was taking on a cathartic feel.

"So what happened after the soldier found you? Was it him who decided you should come to C-sec." In a way he was genuinely interested: she had spoken so softly when she talked about that soldier, with such a hopeful light in her eyes that it was painful for a Turian like him, who had always been taught to conceal his feelings unless it was necessary, to see. She wore her heart on her sleeve in all things, he realised, but it had never been so obvious as it was now,

"I'm not so sure what happened up until I woke up in the med bay of the ship." She sighed, "He wasn't there, there was an older man, with tanned skin. He told me his name was Captain Anderson and that he was going to ask me some questions. I told him everything I could remember and he said to one of his soldiers that the man who attacked me had to be Saren and that he had no idea who the woman could have been." She gave a small, wan smile, "He brought me to Pallin, to C-sec and you. And I never saw the other soldier...s, soldiers again." She flushed a little, he suppressed his amusement at her sudden changing form singular to plural: it was clear that she didn't give a shit about seeing the other two soldiers again. Just the dark haired one with the warm voice, as she had put it. She rubbed her arms and rocked back,

"What happened to Hawlen and his wife?" She sipped her beer, eyes locked on his,

"He…went into shock and died of blood loss… She actually went onto become a very successful business woman." He smiled, "And I can't think of anyone who deserves that success more."

"Sounds like she's better off without him." Lessa rolled her neck,

"Yes…he was…overbearing I gather." Garrus snorted, "To be polite about it." A thought occurred to him, "When you said that they had creatures with them that were…mechanical?"

"Yes?" She was giving him a wary look,

"Can you describe them?" Garrus felt excitement and adrenaline pulse through him,

"No, not really." The disappointment was like a punch to the gut, "But I could draw one for you." She was smiling,

"Draw one?" He grinned, "That's even better."

He placed a pen and a large notepad in front of her,

"There, sorry if the papers not so good for drawing on."

"It's ok." She tossed her head, "This wont be a masterpiece anyway, my hands haven't stopped shaking since the moment I woke up on that ship." Despite what she said, a strange calm came over her when she put the pen to paper, a look of blank concentration came across her, a small smile curling at the very corners of her lips. He watched her for the first half hour, finding a small measure of comfort in how at ease she looked now: perhaps he was doing a good job. For the next hour and a half he caught up with all the little things he had let slip: the paperwork, the housework, eventually he gave up and took a shower. He was sitting in his sleep-clothes watching the galactic news when she came to him and placed a drawing of startling depth and realism in front of him.

"That's about the best I can do…" She looked displeased, "I know it's a little rough."

"It's amazing." he leaned in, "I've never seen anyone who can replicate an image like this. Especially after only one sighting." She made a small sound that could have been caused by embarrassment,

"Well, I have an eidetic memory…when nothing's messing with my mind." She looked away,

"You're pretty amazing, you know?" Garrus let the thought free consciously, _poor girl probably needs some reassurance, some complimenting, _she gave him a look he had no classification for: a wide, wet eyed look, lips pressed together a little, hands opening and closing repeatedly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, causing him to stiffen in fright and surprise, tightening them around him and pressing her forehead against his chest,

"Thank you." The words were muffled, he tried to relax as he attempted to make sense of what it was she was doing. She wasn't attacking him, that much he knew now. The way her head rested on his chest suggested she was seeking comfort from him, but it was a strange way to go about it. He shifted a little, hesitantly closing his arms around her back and squeezing back which seemed to please her. She relaxed against him for a moment, taking his breath away: _does she have any idea how strange this is? To put yourself so completely at someone else's mercy? I could kill her with a twist of my arms, knock her out. I could- Spirits, I could do anything and she wouldn't have a chance to even think about reacting, let alone stand a chance of getting away from me…_ She turned her head so the flat of her cheek was against him and looked up at him with a radiant smile, his chest tightened, his shoulders felt suddenly heavy with responsibility…_is this how much she trusts me to protect her? How confident she is my skills? My character?_ A potent mix of pride and nerves caused him to straighten up,

"You know something, Garrus?" She pulled away from him, "You might be one of the best men I've met in a long time. I just-" Suddenly the openness seeped from her face, she was once again the withdrawn cautious woman he had become accustomed to. It hurt to see her draw back in like that: he wanted her to be able to let go the way she just had,

"You just what?" He said kindly, placing a hand on her shoulder, she swallowed, giving him a strange look,

"I just feel like I can trust you." She pulled her mouth to the side a little, "I'm not wrong am I?" _What in the name of the spirits am I supposed to say to that? I barely know her! _"I'm sorry I know I just put a lot on you…and I know I kind of freaked you out by hugging you there…I know you're only doing your job, but I guess I just want to know that you really are on my side…not just because you're being paid to be. Because I feel like you really are…on my side, I mean." She chewed the side of her thumb viciously, drawing blood, "Are you?" Her stare was painfully direct.

He stopped, thought out the position he was in: _On one hand, I really am just doing my job and it would be wrong to get too attached to her…on the other…I am a little attached to her so that damage is done._ He sighed, turning to face her fully,

"I wont lie to you. I'm not supposed to get attached to people I work with…because it really is just my job to take care of you." She looked down and away, he placed his hand back on her shoulder, "But, between you and me, I am rooting for you, Lessa." Those big green orbs rolled up to look at him again, "When I first saw you I thought a strong wind would blow you away, that you were so small and helpless that protecting you would be impossible…and then I started to notice how tough you are." He touched his face where she had hit him and they shared a smile, "And now I know just how strong you are. You were never weak, you just faced something big enough to bring you down and there's no shame in that. So…yes, I am on your side, even if I'm not supposed to be. I respect you and I like you and…" He scratched the back of his neck, "And what, by the spirits is hugging? Is that what its called when you put your arms around my neck, because for a moment I thought you were trying to strangle me!" He laughed as her face went from shocked, to a little hurt, to amused. She threw back her head and laughed, a surprisingly deep, rich sound that shook her whole body.

"Is that why you went stiff as a corpse?"

"Yes. I thought I was about to become one!" They laughed together, he squeezed her shoulder, "I have your back Lessa and I'm going to take this-" He lifted the drawing, "to Pallin. I think it's a Geth by the way." He added almost as an after thought, "Do you want to come with me? To show Pallin, I mean."

"Yes. It's…" She sighed, "It's time to talk to him. Tell him everything."

When he lay down onto the couch he sent a simple message to Pallin:

**She's willing to give her statement. We'll meet you in the Presidium tower at 12:00. Garrus.**

He rolled onto his side, eyes closing as he slid into oblivion. When he dreamed, he was back there, staring down the barrel of his gun, begging that hellish female not to do what he knew she would. She looked him straight in the eye, giving him a vicious smile and she sunk her teeth into the helpless infants side, snapping her head back again. The child let out a shrill ringing sound that sent him reeling from the couch gasping for air. He lay on the floor, sweating, panting for a moment, but the ringing persisted. His phone, he answered it groggily,

"Hello?"

"Officer Vakarian?" A heavily accented, breathless voice answered him, frantic and frightened,

"Yes? Who is this?" He sat up, alert,

"Dr Chloe Michel. I run the wards clinic."

"Yes, yes. How can I help you, are you ok Dr Michel?" Her fear was causing him concern, but not as much as the fact that she had his personal number,

"A Quarian just came to see me, she'd been shot and she was on the run. Said she wanted to meet with the Shadow broker, she said she has information to trade, about a friend of yours…Saren."

"He's not a-" He growled, "It doesn't matter. So what have you done?"

"I sent her to an agent of the Shadow Broker, Fist. But when I called to check on her, he claimed he's never set eyes on her and his thugs just came in and trashed my clinic."

"You think he's hurt her?" The seething rage dulled to a cool knowledge of what must be done,

"I don't know. But I have a bad feeling about this." He checked the time: 11:20,

"I'll be there in a few hours. I have something to do first."

"Thank you!" She sounded teary as she hung up. Garrus sighed and rubbed his forehead, willing the hangover away as he chapped on the bedroom door,

"Hey, Lessa! Get up, it's time to go meet Pallin." The sounds of tortured life came from within, he laughed, "You hungover too? Well that's what you get for encouraging me, now move." A muffled laugh. She was doing that more now, laughing, Garrus had to admit that he liked it.

The presidium tower was cool and beautiful as always, Pallin cut an imposing and sever figure amongst the muted elegance and greenery. Garrus walked ahead of Lessa, making a showing of looking around, sensing her fearfulness and reluctance. Pallin eyed them with a barely concealed sneer,

"Officer I told you to make the girl at home, not get her falling down drunk and, judging by the sorry state of you two, that's precisely what you did." He was hissing, low and angry, Garrus felt his hackles rise,

"Respectfully sir, who gives a shit what I did? What matters is that she feels safe enough to talk now surely?"

"Yes, well." Pallin tucked his mandibles tight, disapproval clear, "You have her statement?""Verbal, yes. Not written yet." Garrus pushed on before the older male could get started, "And this-" He handed him the drawing, "It's a representation of the creatures that she says were helping Saren and the woman."

"Woman?" Pallin frowned at the drawing, " What woman?"

"She says that there was an Asari with Saren, helping him to organise these creatures." He gestured at the drawing, "Is it just me or do they look like geth to you?"

"Yes." Pallin sighed, "They do. But it doesn't matter, Sarens hearing is today, so all else is moot."

"But- What?! Today?" Garrus barked, "No! Look I just got a call from a Dr in the wards she says she knows a Quarian who could have information on-"

"No!" Pallin cut him off, making Lessa jump and hold closer to him, "That's enough, it is happening-"

"Stall them!" Garrus snarled,

"Stall the council! Don't be ridiculous! You're 'investigation' is over Garrus." Pallin turned and strode away. When Garrus turned back to Lessa, he expected her to be angry, downcast, frightened even. Instead she was staring past him with a strange look on her face.

A dark haired soldier, flanked by a similarly colored woman and the Krogan, Wrex. He was looking at Lessa with the same intensity and, for a moment, Garrus felt like he was intruding. _Ridiculous, she doesn't know anyone here! He's the intruder…unless…_ It hit him as the man began to speak,

"Officer Vakarian?" The mans voice was warm and deep, _it's him_, "Shepard." He nodded to Lessa who looked confused,

"That's not my name."

"No, it's Amellissia, isn't it? But you're second name, you're family name is Shepard, is it not?" She nodded, "You'll have to forgive me for the formality, it's just the way I am." Lessa face had darkened unbelievably, she looked mistrustful,

"How do you know my name?" She all but spat the words,

"You had an identification card on your person. I-" He laughed, "I'm sorry, I'm not making a good impression am I." He stepped forward, "My name is Commander Alenko, I'm a soldier with the Alliance navy and I'm investigating Saren Arterius."

"You found me on Eden Prime." It was not a question, it was a statement. The man nodded, "You were kind to me…thank you." The mans eyes widened a little, he smiled.

"My pleasure. I'm sorry, but I must go…I've got to plead the case with the council." He stepped closer to her, "Don't worry, we'll get the bastard."


	8. A folded piece of the past

**Wow! 2,000 views! I'm flattered, you guys are a real fire under my butt! You keep me plugging on!**

**In that respect, I'm really sorry that this update has been so long in coming, but I pinky promise that the next will be brought out double time to make up for it! **

* * *

"_Don't worry…we'll get the bastard."_

The words seemed to ring out behind the soldier as he walked away, echoing in the vastness of the space around Garrus and Lessa. She chewed her lip and turned to Garrus,

"I don't trust him."

"You don't?" The curiosity was overwhelming, "Why not?"

"Not enough to think he'll be able to stop Saren." her eyes flicked to him, "Maybe we should look into it, find something to support what we know." _We, what we know,_ Garrus smiled, _apparently she trusts me…but not soldier boy,_ that shouldn't have pleased him half so much as it did.

"Now, now, Lessa…" He said, affecting a stern voice, "That would be highly irresponsible of me, you know. Totally unacceptable for me to conduct my own investigation, let alone involve you in it." She was silent for a minute or so, before turning to him with a sly smile,

"But then again, you're a bad Turian, aren't you?" She raised one of her furry little brows at him and chuckled, he feigned a double take and chortled,

"Why yes, I am…aren't I?" He tapped his chin, "Perhaps we should go talk to Dr Michel about her Quarian, hm?"

"You know, that might not be a bad idea…"

"Definitely, but first we should get your effects." He nodded towards the rapid transport,

"My effects?" Her confusion was obvious, he could have kicked himself,

"Ah! I forgot to tell you: once we found out your full name we contacted the alliance and they sent over what they found in your work locker." She was silent, face unreadable, Garrus suppressed the urge to babble out his nerves, "We'll pick them up before we go talk to Dr Michel."

She was a strange little creature, Garrus reflected as they drove towards the wards: she hadn't seemed happy to receive her personal effects, in fact, she had seemed sad. She dipped into the smallish, canvas bag and pulled out a few commonplace items; a brush for her hair, a few books, a basic handgun. Then she pulled out a leather wallet and opened it, removing a folded piece of paper, simply staring at it with her lower lip drawn between her teeth. He wanted so much to reach out and find out what was causing this strange change in her. They slid to a stop and sat in silence for a little while, his eyes trained on her,

"Can I see?" His voice was as soft and gentle as he could make it: Turians were not known for their soft and cuddly side, but he tried to dip into it for her sake. She turned her face to him in the half light, shadows obscuring her eyes, she handed him the careworn piece of her past.

A picture. Not a holo, but an old fashioned, printed photograph.

It held two people; one was clearly a younger Lessa, the second was a male, unknown to him. He was older than her clearly, perhaps older than she was even now: his face was angular and solemn, pale, almost bloodless and yet, it held a certain severe elegance. Or it would have had he not been missing an ear. They stood awkwardly, as if she were struggling to hold him in the frame, his dark, piercing eyes boring straight into the camera as if issuing a challenge. Lessa however seemed well at ease, tucked under his shoulder, mouth half open in laughter with her eyes trained on the mans face, a look of obvious adoration, open trust on her features. Yet he did not feel that they were romantically involved, even with his limited knowledge of human expressions, her face exuded trust and deference.

"Is this man your brother?" He asked quietly,

"No…" She took it back from him, reverently, "My father…" She pulled a face, "This is the only picture I have of him."

"What happened to him?" He pushed lightly, not wanting her to close up again,

"I don't know." Her shoulders were raising, head dipping, still he couldn't help him self,

"You miss him?" She did not answer, simply nodded, fat, stinging tears slipping down her cheeks,

"Very much." Her voice sounded hoarse and pained, with a grimace, he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. No words were needed, he realised, perhaps it was simply enough to feel another's pain and wish to remove it from them.

A muffled gunshot rang out from somewhere in the distance causing them both to start and vacate the vehicle. They were spirits on the simulated wind, slipping into the clinic like shadows of vengeance. The good Doctor was being held at gunpoint by three very rough looking thugs, one of which was advising her to keep her mouth shut should Garrus come calling. Garrus eyed her from his cover, telling her with a shake of his head to stay low and, if her nod was any indication of her thoughts, she agreed with him.

"I didn't, I swear!" Dr Michel was starting to sound frantic, tearful. Just as one of the thugs reached out to drag her by the hair the doors slid open and there, _spirits I'm starting to hate this guy,_ was Commander Alenko himself,

"I suggest you drop your weapons." His voice was low and controlled, but his muscles were tensed under his light armour, his eyes glinting with rage. The thugs turned too him, mouths agape, disbelieving of the sheer front the was showing. That one distraction was all Garrus needed, popping out from cover, he placed a well aimed bullet directly between the eyes of the assailant closest to Dr Michel and motioned for her to get out the way. She happily complied.

In reality, what followed next could only have lasted half a minute at the most, yet it seemed to drag out endlessly. Lessa spun from cover, whipping out her sidearm to fire on the second of the thugs, hitting him in the arm, then the shoulder and causing him to howl in pain. The third whirled on her pulling out a shotgun and aiming at her with nerve-shredding speed. Garrus flew for her; tackling her around the waist and dragging her to the ground just as the shot removed a huge chunk of plaster from the wall where her abdomen had been. The silence was deafening, she stared up at him from a halo of hair, body quivering with adrenaline,

"Thanks G." She whispered before shifting her weight and pushing him up, "Hey, seen as your down here, help me up?" With one fluid motion, they were standing up again, a little dazed, but basically unhurt.

"Good going, Alenko, you gave me a clean shot at the bastard!" Garrus flashed a toothy grin at the rather stormy faced human,

"What the hell do you think you were doing? You could have hit the hostage!" Alenko was spitting, for a moment, Garrus was almost ashamed, until Lessa snorted,

"Yeah, well maybe if you'd have been quieter in your entry it wouldn't have been necessary." She laughed at his shocked face, "Or does the 'hey! Look at me!' tactic usually work on hardened targets?" She withdrew the sarcastic 'jazz hands' and folded her arms under her breasts, raising a brow at the stunned male. He opened his mouth, closed it, raised his hand with a pointing finger, then lowered it,

"Ah-" He chuckled, "You may be right about that…" He pinched the bridge of his nose, Garrus shook his head, turning to the shaken woman behind them,

"Doctor Michel, are you ok?"

"Yes…I think so. Though I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't turned up!" The human stepped in,

"Tell us about the Quarian," Then added, almost as an after thought, "If you don't mind."


	9. In just one week

**Hi guys! Thanks so much for sticking with me! I know we've been going slow right now, but i'm about to kick it up a notch or two so hopefully you'll enjoy whats on the way !**

**I own nothing, it all belongs to Bioware!**

* * *

The council were the pinnacle of Galactic democracy, some of the most powerful creatures in space. They were imperious, severe, intimidating…they were in fact, Garrus reflected, full of Varren shit. And now, they were also being forced to rethink their stance on their prize agent,

"_Eden prime brought us one step closer to the conduit…" _Saren's voice echoes around the silent chamber,

"_And one step closer to the return of the reapers…"_

"That's Matriarch Benezia…." Councillor Tevos' eyes were wide, disbelieving, "Oh Goddess… But she would never…" She looked to Sparatus and Valern for help, they simply shrugged. Alenko moved forward hand gesturing,

"So you see, Saren needs to be dealt with?" His voice was quiet, diplomatic but hard; honey coated steel. Garrus shook his head a little, sensing the change in Lessa, he let his eyes wander to her: she was full of tension. Her eyes were boring into a point in the middle distance, her fists clenched and he smelled faintly, the tang of blood. _She's reliving it, she's back there on Eden Prime…_ he thought helplessly and wished he could help her. He wondered how many brows would raise if he took her strange little five fingered hand and squeezed it for the sake of solidarity…? _Too many._ He clenched his fists tight at his sides, ignoring the irritating prattling going on in front of him. After ten minutes or so the councillors shared a few significant looks before seeming to come to an agreement.

"Commander Alenko, step forward." Tevos beckoned him, the human did so, sensing the tension that was heavy in the air. "It is the decision of the council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel." Garrus felt his mandibles flare in shock as he realised precisely what he was seeing; even Lessa had dragged herself back to the present to see this."

"Spectres are not trained…" Valern began, " But chosen, individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those who's actions elevate them above the rank and file." Tevos tossed her head haughtily,

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol, the embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the council, instruments of our will." Sparatus stepped forward, finally breaking his silence,

"Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of Galactic peace, both our first and last line of defence. The safety of the Galaxy is theirs to uphold." Sparatus fixed the human man before him with a baleful glance, as if he could impart the importance of this role with a look alone.

"This is a great honor for you commander, for you and your species." Tevos emphasised, "You are the first human Spectre."

The silence was thick, pained.

Alenko took one further step forward and bowed slightly,

"Thank you… I can't really say how much I appreciate this." He was cut off from further talk by Valern,

"We are sending you into the Traverse after Saren…" The rest of the talk was boring. Garrus turned to Lessa, suddenly feeling a pang of loss: now that this situation was resolved he could go back to his life and she could try to find hers. Why did that upset him just a little? As the newly installed 'Spectre Alenko' turned on his heel to stride away with Wrex and the Quarian, _Tali..?_, Lessa seemed to snap out of her reverie,

"Wait!" She almost staggered forward a few steps, hand outstretched, the human turned to face her,

"Yes?" His face was blank and smooth, no emotion showing, no expectation or irritation,

"I want to come with you." Lessa was shivering slightly, as if filled with uncontrollable energy, "I can fight and I can fix things and I-" He, Alenko, _Kaiden? Strange name…_ cut her off with a hand, his eyes kind, but unreadable,

"Welcome aboard."

"-want to bring him dow…" She looked puzzled, "Wait, really?"

"Really," He smiled at her, Garrus bristled: it was strange, but he couldn't quite bring himself to trust this one, "I found you, remember? I know how tough you are."

Garrus opened his mouth to request his place on the ship when, in the corner of his vision, he saw his father, eyes inscrutable.

They locked gaze's, having one of those parent-child moments where everything is said and understood simply through a look. _Mother wont understand, neither will the rest of the family, but you do, don't you, Dad?_Garrus couldn't quite hide the trill of pleading subvocals, _You understand that I have to do this! I said I was on her side and, spirits help me, I really am. I have to protect her. _His father gave the most imperceptible nod: one that said acceptance would be given, in return for an explanation.

"I'm coming too." He was at Lessa's side in a moment, Alenko's dark eyes seemed to bore in to him for a moment, but Lessa's smile was radiant enough that it didn't matter to him.

"We'll need all the help we can get. Welcome aboard Officer Vakarian."

* * *

The Normandy SR1 was a breathtaking machine, Garrus reflected as he cast his eyes over the data that Commander Alenko had allowed him access to. The power and agility of the ship really made her something special, but the sheer destructive power of the main guns were the real appeal for him. Though he could think of so many ways in which the firing algorithms could be improved; made faster, more efficient. He set the data pad down and surveyed the hangar with itching eyes: it was vast and cold, but somehow homely. Though he felt that perhaps that was due to the friendliness of the crew, rather than the architecture of the ship. The humans of the Normandy had been, overall, polite and open, if a little reserved. They respected his space and he was grateful for that, but nearly a week into their journey, he was beginning to realize just how lonely this trip could have been for him if not for the kindness of certain members of the crew. Dr Chakwas, for one, was so warm and caring that it was almost embarrassing: always fussing over him and Lessa as if t,hey were lost children that she wanted to adopt. And Lessa, he smiled, he was truly grateful that she was here with him...then again, without her, he would not be here.

She had been consistently by his side since they joined forces with the Alliance commander, they had parted only to sleep until today: the commander, Alenko had taken up almost all of her time today, requesting to see her in his cabin first thing in the morning. Garrus felt a twinge of annoyance and loneliness, he wished she was here right now: not all the soldiers on board the Normandy were as friendly as the good Doctor. He could feel the female soldiers glare from across the space, like burning needles in the back of his skull. Williams, her name was, he thought. Ashley Williams, the name rang out familiar, he was sure that he had heard it before. Whether or not he knew her or her family, he was certain that she had a problem with him for reasons that were easily discernible. She scowled at him and turned away haughtily as he looked over, Garrus hunched his shoulders, suddenly wishing that he had Lessa's vibrant kindness to shield him from all this strangeness.

It was as if she had been summoned by the thought, a real spectre. Her scent hit him between the shoulder-blades, demanding his attention. It was so alien, and yet it was becoming all to familiar.

"Hey." Her voice was quiet, subdued, he was curious but resisted the urge to pry,

"Hey you…" He tilted his head to the side slightly, "So, what do you think of…" He motioned around him, "…this?"

"It's…different." She rubbed her arms, looking around her as if she was lost, "The people seem nice though…the pilot's a nice guy."

"Who Joker?" He remembered the young, bearded man who had made a comment about Turians having 'sticks up their asses' and chuckled, "I suppose so, I prefer the Doctor…Karin, isn't it?" She simply nodded, picking up a wrench from the bench next to him and moving to the Mako.

They sat side by side, exploring the bowels of the machine, not speaking, not needing to. Garrus began to realise that they had built a repertoire, a space for them that was only for them. A bubble that they could inhabit, perhaps in total silence, but in a friendly, warm silence. The sounds of the hangar bay rose and fell around them like the tide, engulfing them, devouring them in the most pleasant way.

"Kaiden says we're going to Therum first. To find and Asari…" Lessa sighed, "He says that she's the other one's daughter, but that she might not be involved in her and Saren's plan…"

"Are you ok with that?" Garrus rolled his shoulders slightly, _Kaiden, is it now? Wow, he's certainly getting close..._

"I guess I'll just have to be. If she's on our side then we need all the help we can get…and if she's on theirs-" She trailed off, chewing on the ends of her hair absentmindedly, her soft smile fading as she reached the end of er sentence.

"Then we kill her. No matter what Alenko says." They shared a look, Lessa gave him a small, sad smile,

"No matter what he says." Her voice seemed a little weaker on the pronoun.

* * *

Garrus raised his head slightly, feeling the jolts of the Mako's sturdy, but slightly stiff suspension as they rumbled along. Lessa was utterly silent at his side: it had take three hours of arguing before Alenko had let her accompany them and, he had a sneaking suspicion that her silence had as much to do with petulance as it did apprehension. He chortled low in his chest.

"Ok, the way ahead is blocked." Alenko adjusted his visor, "We go on foot from here. Immy, I want you to stay behind us and keep and eye on your shields."

She sighed loudly,

"Fine."

_Immy?_ Garrus suppressed a laugh: this man was under her thumb already, that much he could tell. She stumbled slightly as she hit the ground,

"Hm, sorry." She cleared her throat, "Legs still a little sore." They moved in formation, tensely watching the high cliff tops all around them. The rhythm of a ground mission was so familiar, soothing almost. If it hadn't been for the imminent death or serious injury. The few Geth they came across were easily dispatched by Kaiden and Ashley, Garrus stayed by Lessa, picking off the those hostiles that managed to slip the notice of the two soldiers. It was only as the facility came into view that real trouble seemed to come their way. As they approached the sturdy iron structures, a Geth ship loomed into view, letting loose its deadly cargo without flair or fuss.


	10. Colossal

**So now we're picking up a little,this chapter is the first I have written from Lessa's POV, but it wont be the last, every now and then there will be a couple in order to give a good idea of her character development. The next story in the series (which will be set in and around ME2) will be almost entirely from her POV.  
**

**All constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, all reviewers loved eternally!**

**Thanks so much for sticking with me!**

* * *

With a bone shattering, earth shaking force, the colossus hit the ground of Therum, throwing up mud and dust and chips of stone, raining them down upon the shocked ground team. Lessa threw up her hands to shield her face; forgetting the armour she had been so pleased to receive only a few hours before,

"Shit! Everyone get into cover! Now!" Kaiden's voice rang out clear, rough across the space, into her earpiece. Despite the dire situation, she felt a slight shiver play across her skin: his voice was one of the many things she had found increasingly interesting about him. She dived behind some sturdy looking crates and pulled the Katana from it's holster, clutching the shotgun to her chest as if it was a lifeline. _It probably is, you stupid bitch! Why did I come here? What the hell was I thinking, I'm not a soldier!_ Stifling a gasp of fear, she spun out of cover, running towards an outcropping of rock with fleet, graceful feet. A blast rang out behind her, the ground shook under her,

"Lessa, over here!" Garrus was calling out to her, _God bless that man!_ She ran to him, feeling a wave of calmness, security radiate from the caring hand he placed on her arm.

A strange creature landed not far from them, Geth clearly, but unlike any of those she had seen so far. It's body was sleeker, flexible and lithe, it crouched low to the ground as if trying to seem small, insignificant and weak. She was not fooled: so many people had thought her small and weak and insignificant…she had seen the surprise on so many of their faces. The Geth-_creeper, yeah, Geth creeper that's what that fucking thing is and I don't like it!_- scuttled closer making strange clicking sounds. Lessa lifted the shotgun in one fluid motion and pulled the trigger, relishing the, surprisingly, strong kickback. Garrus spun round, eyes flicking from her to the creeper before he gave her a Turian smile,

"Thanks, pup." He gripped her shoulder warmly, _pup? As in a pup, a puppy? That's horrific, insulting, demeaning!…It's also adorable, I'll take it._ "We best follow the commanders lead, huh?." They stuck together, providing covering fire for Kaiden and Ashley as they battled the colossus: the machine was strong and deadly in it's retaliations. Lessa winced as a shot grazed Kaiden's shoulder, throwing him back a little with a sharp cry and a spray of blood. The colossus reared to fire again and without any real thought she threw herself out of cover with a cry, omni-tool flickering into life as she fired two fairly accurate shots with her pistol. One shot pinged off the dense plating of its leg, the other got lucky, striking the glowing cirlce of its 'eye'. The creature shuddered, uttering a metallic howl as she raised her omni-tool. Faintly, she heard Garrus shout to her, but the world had slowed to a snail's pace as she locked her omni-tool to the colossus' signature. She dove to the right as it opened fire, hearing Kaiden roar commands to Ashley and open fire on it.

Slipping, Lessa hit the ground with a crunch, tasting blood as she scrambled to regain her footing. A slight ping caught her attention: the connection had been made, she ducked behind a metal crate and began to exploit her new found advantage. Chewing her stinging lip, she felt an idea take root: she had been taught so many ways to fix machines, only to fix them. But with knowing what to do, came the understanding of what not to do. Lessa closed her eyes and whispered a long forgotten prayer that this would work. Stepping out from cover, she locked the omni-tool's long range sensor onto the colossus and sent off a command that would, hopefully, overload its wiring. A electrical fizz and a slight shudder issued from the machine, but it seemed otherwise unharmed. A surge of failure swept through her, shoulders dipping slightly before Ashley's voice rang out,

"It's shields are down, commander!" The two soldiers redoubled their efforts on the flagging automaton, giving slight whoops as it fell to the ground with a ground-shuddering impact.

"Nice work." Kaiden's eyes were warm, his smile a little shy, Lessa grinned back, seeing him blanch a little and remembering the blood that was surely coating her teeth. He laughed, "Maybe Dr Chakwas should have a look at your lip when we get back on the Normandy…" He frowned, "Maybe you should go back now?"

"No!" her voice was a little louder than she had intended it to be, "No…I want to come with you." Garrus walked up, surveying them with analytical eyes,

"Maybe we should all get out of the open." He clapped her shoulder, "Come on, pup, let's go." She followed him without question, falling into step beside him as they ran together, in sync and harmony. As if they had been working together for years. Garrus was without a doubt one of the best men she'd met in a long time: he was so clean cut and honourable that it was almost painful. She had the feeling that if he weren't so innocent, he'd also be capable of making her a little weak at the knees. The Geth temporarily fell away as they reached the entrance to Dr T'soni's dig site and, for the first time since they had hit the surface of Therum, Lessa considered her predicament.

She wanted, really, to just shoot this woman and be done with the whole sorry mess. Yet there was a small part of her that wasn't still stranded, scared and enraged, on Eden prime, a part of her that was all up for giving this Asari child a chance, despite the treacherous blood she had inherited from her mother. Lessa fritted her jaws together as they entered the damp darkness of the dig site. Of course, she had to amit that another, smaller still, part of her wanted to give the Doctor a chance because she didn't want to have to distance herself from _him_. She shot a glance at his handsome profile, feeling a weird, warmth fill her chest and stomach. He had saved her, maybe not in the traditional, "damsel in distress saved by heroic knight" sense, but if he had not been so thorough in his searches, she would have died. Despite her fighting, despite her bloody minded will to live, if he had not found her lying in the blood and sweat of others, she would have died just as surely as if the husks had gotten her. She was loyal to him, tied to him in a way she didn't think she could explain to Garrus, which was painful, because she felt intuitively that Garrus was ill at ease with him. _So choose one, choose Kaiden, he saved your life, didn't he?_ A voice whispered in her head, but it was not her own. She knew that it was not that simple.

Because, in a way, she felt that same loyalty to Garrus. He had been so kind and patient with her, he had allowed her the luxury of complete trust in a man, something that was rare to come by these days. It was key that they began to see eye to eye, or things would become increasingly difficult.

"There's an elevator here!" Ashley beckoned them over, his features set in 'soldier' mode: stern and unwavering. Lessa was last through the doors, Kaiden beckoning her through with a small, conspirators smile that cause the heat in her belly to intensify. They had talked for nearly a full day in his quarters, about the situation, the plan to resolve it and…eventually their lives. Lessa sighed, rolling her neck as a shiver of anticipation ran through her.

The ancient elevator creaked to life, groaning its way down into the bowels of the excavation site. The screech of metal on stone was the only warning they received before they were all pitched from their feet by a thundering shudder. Strong, armour clad hands steadied her, gripping her hips,

"Ash, how far down still?" His voice was dripping in her ear,

"Not too far, we can jump it, probably." The other woman eyed Lessa, eyes widedning a little at Kaiden's grip on her, she felt it recede, "Maybe not you with your bad leg though." Lessa felt a surge of affection for this usually hard woman: she seemed concerned. Garrus looked at her,

"I'll catch her when she jumps down." His tone was slightly defensive, _He doesn't like Ashley… _A hard look from the woman, _she doesn't like him either…I wonder why?_

"Your call." With that she dropped from the frozen mechanism, followed by Kaiden, Garrus drooping third. Lessa stepped to the edge, feeling a lurch in her stomach: Ashley was right, it was quite a way still, she felt a throb in her leg, suddenly glad it was Garrus she was relying on to catch her. _He wont let me fall,_ the voice was soft, a little unsure.

"You ok?" Garrus was holding his arms out, signalling her to drop,

"Yeah…" her voice was high, a little reedy, "I…I'm just a little…I don't like heights." The three looked at each other, she cursed herself, _Damnit, move your ass!_ "I'm coming down now."

Garrus' head snapped round as she spoke and he stepped forward again. With a slight gasp, she let herself drop from the platform, feeling a surge of weightlessness before she landed in the safety of his arms.

"See," Ashley said kindly as she slipped onto solid ground once more, "Nothing to be afraid of." Seeing her embarrassment, the soldier pressed on, "You should have heard the Commander when he found a spider in the bathtub back at HQ."

"That's enough, Chief." Kaiden's face was a little red as they walked on, he met her inquisitive gaze with a small smile, "I-uh…I don't like them…too many legs, too many eyes…You know?"

"H-hello?" An unfamiliar voice rang out, "Can anyone hear me? I'm trapped in here, I can't get out…" They quickened their pace until they came face to face with a young, rather beautiful Asari, Lessa felt a surge of sympathy for the young woman. She was thin, a little pale, she looked ill and frightened. _I can't kill this girl, she couldn't possibly be involved…_ Stepping forward, Lessa offered the best smile she could,

"Hey, it's ok…"

"No, you don't understand! I was working here when the Geth attacked, they've been trying to find a way through this barrier curtain, please help me get out!"

"You're Matriarch Benezia's daughter?" Kaiden stepped forward, his voice controlled, cold.

"Yes. I am, my name is Dr Liara T'soni." The young Asari seemed wary,

"Your mother is working with Saren…who's side are you on?" Liara looked shocked at first, then angry,

"What? Side? I'm on nobody's side, I haven't seen my mother in years! Please get me out of here!"

"How did you end up in there?" Lessa couldn't stifle the curiosity, the Asari, Liara, looked at her pleadingly,

"I was exploring the ruins when Geth showed up! Geth, beyond the veil! Can you believe that?"

"Oh we can believe it." Garrus chipped in,

"So I hid in in here, I activated the tower's defences, I knew the barrier curtain would keep them out… But I must have hit something I shouldn't have and activated a security protocol. The deactivation switch is in here with me and tehre's no way through other than from inside the tower." She twisted a little, "I can't move, please help me!" The panic in her voice was plain now.

Lessa turned to Kaiden,

"We have to help her."

"Agreed." He nodded a little, "Spread out and find a way to get through."


	11. Fierce Little Pyjak

**First of all, I am so so sorry about the delay! I got a crippling dose of writers block! But I am back, thanks for sticking with me guys, we're back to Garrus' POV! **

**This chapter was written whilst listening to Blackbird Studios by Jamie and the Buzz and I must say that it's great muse music ! #jamieandthebuzz, who you can find on facebook or Soundcloud, check them out guys!  
**

* * *

On closer inspection, the ruins were fascinating, Garrus watched as Lessa tilted her head to the side to better view a piece of fallen rubble before nudging it with her armoured toe. With a short sigh she moved away from him and the shimmering barrier curtain into the gloom of the cavern. Within a short space of time she had unearthed more than a few boxes and containers that held armour upgrades and a few decent small arms. He felt a slight smirk twitch on his features, _not only a survivor, but a treasure hunter too?_

"Hey, whats that?" She nudged Garrus out of his considerations with her elbow, pointing to a stooping structure near the trapped Doctor. He grunted and moved forward,

"A mining laser, I think." She gave him an inquisitive look, that he was beginning to realise did not mean that she failed to understand, just that she wished him to continue. "For cutting through large swathes of rock that are too dense to clear…" Their eyes met, _Ahh…I see, clever, too…_ "…by hand."

As one, harmonious unit, they moved forward to study the laser,

"So…how do we make it…you know, actually mine?" She gave him an expectant look,

"_Spirits Lessa!_" He threw up his hands in mock exasperation and laughed, "I don't know, Turians aren't famous for their geological interests!" She was laughing now, face lit from within, eyes sparkling,

"Ok, ok, but really, do you have any idea?" She wiped a bead of moisture from her eye, he shrugged, causing her to snort and shake her head, "Ok, the way I used to when I was training."

"And how is that?" He eyed her, noting the mischievous look on her face,

"Press all the buttons and find cover." They locked eyes again, the tension building until the laughter exploded from both of them, causing Ashley and Kaiden to look around.

"Ok, ok, ok…" He rubbed his palms together before activating the control pad, "Well, the stage is yours." He motioned to the controls, watching her with amusement,_ look at the joy on that face…nothing like wanton disregard for technological protocol to brighten your day._ She pressed a button experimentally, chewing her lip…nothing happened.

Another button…nothing.

And another. Not even a beep.

Her small features contorted in a display of annoyance that was quickly becoming a favourite expression of his. With a petulant flair, she swept her hand across all the keys with a snarl, causing the laser to jump and fire off a wide, red beam of energy. She yipped with excitement, jumping back and clapping her hands together,

"Hah!" She swept forward to inspect the smoking crater that the laser had left, causing a jolt of fear in him,

"Lessa!" He jumped forward to catch her arm, cursing as he fell short by mere inches, feeling a flood of relief as he saw the Commander reach her, pulling her back a little,

"Careful, you don't know if the floor will-"

The floor fell from beneath them all.

The dust and smoke were blinding, Garrus' visor flickered warning messages, alerting him to the various damages the fall had caused to his armour. He heard a cough,

"Garrus?" Lessa's voice rang out, shaky, but strong and filled with concern, "Garrus are you ok?" A groan sounded out, probably the commanders,

"I'm fine, are you?"

"Yes…" The sound of shifting rubble, "We're stuck under some rock though…are you ok, Ash?"

"Yeah, I'm- ah shit." The soldier swore, "I'm cut up, but I'm fine." With an clumsy movements, Garrus struggled to his feet and slid down the small slope of rubble that had formed. He came across the female soldier first, she looked at him with mistrust clear in her eyes,

"Alright, blue?"

"Yeah, what about you chief? You need help with that?" He motioned to the hunk of ruined stone that was resting on her leg,

"Nah. I got this." She grimaced and struggled with it unsuccessfully once, twice and finally a third time before he knelt down next to her and gripped the rock,

"Come on, Chief, let me help you." He gazed at her evenly, seeing no trace of a clue in her brown eyes, "We're on the same side, remember?"

"Are we?" Her voice was low, not hostile, but not friendly,

"Yes." he lifted the stone from her leg in one swift movement and extended a hand to her, "We are…." She stared at it as if it might bit her, "I'm not asking you to be my best friend, Spirits, I'm not even asking you to trust me…I'm just asking you to give me chance to earn your trust."

The moment drew out and, for a moment, he thought she would refuse him, but, with a resigned twist of her face, she gripped his hand and let him help her up.

"Hey…guys, seriously we're completely stuck." Lessa sounded like she was laughing, Ashley's eyebrows drew in, a small smile twitching at her well formed lips,

"We?" Realisation hit, "Oh this is gonna be hilarious!"

They found the two of them, trapped under more than one piece of jagged stone, pressed tight together, face to face and both flushed. Lessa because she was laughing so hard she was nearly crying, Alenko because he was blushing. _If his face gets any redder, he's going to burst into flames…pride of the Alliance fleet that one, can't even face an attractive woman._ He snorted, shaking his head and noting Ashley's amusement,

"You ok there, Commander?"

"Can it, chief." He growled, looking more than a little harassed. Between the two of them, Garrus and Ashley shifted the rocks with relative ease and Garrus choked back a laughed when he realised precisely why Alenko was so embarrassed: they couldn't have landed in a more compromising situation if they tried. Lessa's eyes were sparkling with humour, sides shaking as the older, experience military man leapt away from her like a guilty child, caught out after dark. Rolling onto her side, she scrambled up onto her feet with ungainly grace.

"Well…" She placed her hands on her hips and nodded, "At least we found a way in." She pointed to a clinically white space not far from them, "I guess we broke into a lower passage, huh?" The question was general, but it was Garrus she looked at, he nodded,

"I guess your hit it and hide technique worked then." They laughed together,

"Yeah, but I guess I should have remembered the 'hide' part!"

She strode off without a backward glance, hopping over debris with surprising agility, even considering her limp. Once they had all entered the elevator, Garrus tried for an inconspicuous glance around, noting Ashley's stoic focus on her weapon, Lessa's nervous lip chewing and Alenko's…_ Very intense inspection of her hips…_ The commanders eyes flicked up, catching his own before flitting away guiltily. _Well, well, well…_

"H-Hello?" The Asaris, _Liara's, _voice sounded, if possible weaker, "Is that you…?" The relief was obvious on her pretty features when she saw them, "The controls are over there, to the right…please you must free me!"

"Hey, hey, it's ok." Lessa stood directly in front of her, looking her straight in the eye, "It's ok, we're here to help you, it's all going to be ok." The shimmering sphere of light flickered, then vanished and the frail adolescent fell to the ground, landing in Lessa's outstretched arms.

"It's ok, I got you, Doc." Standing, she took the younger female with her, "Do you need a minute? Or a drink? I think I have a canteen here somewher-"

"Here." Ashley handed hers over,

"Yes…thank you." The doctor touched her temple lightly before taking a few sips of water. "I…I think I am ready to proceed."

"Are you sure?" Alenko's brows were drawn in, "We can sit for a moment if you -" A deep, ominous rumbling cut him off,

"No…" Liara shook her head, " I think it's best we leave."

"You know what…that might be a good idea." He motioned to the elevator, "Will this thing take us further up?"

"Yes…Yes, I think it will."

The Doctor was not in good shape, Garrus reflected, pale and distant, swaying a little on her feet. He made a note to keep an eye on her and moved to stand next to Lessa,

"Hows your leg?"

"Fine.." She smiled wanly, "Are you hurt? I'm sorry, I should have been more careful."

"No, I'm fine, honestly…" A small, familiar sound caught his attention, cutting off he conversation midstream, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" She wrinkled her nose in confusion, jumping as Alenko appeared next to her,

"I did." He looked at Garrus significantly as another sound echoed out further up the shaft: it sounded like someone was up there, someone who was in heavy, restrictive armour and was trying to be quiet.

As the elevator slid into place, an angry looking Krogan, _is there any other kind? _stepped into view, a shotgun clasped in his hands and a determined look in his eyes.

"I knew you'd be more trouble than you're worth." The statement was undoubtedly levelled at Liara, "But it's no matter, because you're here now and you're coming with us." Liara backed away, face drawn and hostile,

"I will not."

"She wont." Alenko stood forward, jaw set like stone, eyes flashing in the clinical lighting, "And you'll back off, if you know whats good for you." The Krogan simply chuckled and shook his head, but as he made to speak a deep, grinding rumble sounded all around them; bouncing off the walls and echoing upwards.

"Oh Goddess…" The young Asari's voice had taken on a tone of wearied, disbelieving horror, "These ruins are unstable…the blast from the laser must have cause some internal structural damage…." She looked a Garrus with wide eyes, "We have to get out of here, or they will come down around us." His eyes flicked over the group Kaiden and the Krogan were still having their verbal pissing contest…Ashley was getting in one of the other mercs faces. Lessa was watching the scene with growing annoyance, her eyes flicked to him, she raised a brow,

"We need to get out of here, the ruins are going to come down." His statement caused an unexpected reaction: she smiled, outright beamed,

"Ok…" With a twist of her mouth she lifted her pistol and calmly hammered three shots into the nearest mercs chest. _Her aims not all it could be, but she's got good control of that kickback…_ "We don't have time for this, fuck off or you're as good as dead." All eyes were on her, all shocked, some admiring, one set proud. _Though I don't suppose I can count mine…_

The firefight that erupted around Garrus was quick and vicious as a whiplash, exploding fast as lightning, then dying just as quickly. When it was done, only the Krogan lived, his breath coming in short, jagged wheezes, blood foaming at his mouth. His eyes rested on Lessa,

"Well…well, fierce little pyjak, aren't you?" Her reply was short, to the point and came with the force of a speeding bullet.

To be more precise, a military issue round from her Carnifex.

A chunk of masonry the size of one of the mako's wheels crashed down next to Alenko's foot, causing him to jump as if he had been scalded,

"Move! Out, now!" He roared, setting them all on a frantic pace for the entrance, "Joker!" He barked into his head set, "We need evac immediately! And I mean right. Fucking. NOW!"

The pounded across the rickety steel walkways, Garrus and Kaiden helping the limping Gunnery Chief, Lessa herding the frightened Doctor. All gasping for air, choking on adrenaline and fuelled by terror. The cavernous space shook and shrieked as the ruins began to crumble, pillars and archways crashing to the ground like slain titans. As smoke and heat billowed up from under them, they burst into the blessedly cool, fresh air and were greeted by the beautiful sight that was the Normandy SR1, waiting for them like an eager puppy at the door. Garrus slowed, falling behind Lessa, watching her hustle the Doctor on and jump nimbly into the ship before he vaulted the distance and breathed his sigh of relief.

"Nothing like a run in the morning to get you going." He chuckled, the commander didn't seem to share his amusement. Garrus shrugged and winked at Lessa, pulling her to him and hugging her, "You did good, pup."

"I know." She gave him a radiant smile, "You know, I think I'd like to be a soldier."


	12. A shoulder (to lean on)

**Both this and the next chapter will be from Lessa's POV, but they will be the last for a while. **

**Let me know what you guys think of how this is shaping up!**

**Once again *deep breath* IdonotownanythingitallbelongstoBIOWARE!**

**Ta ! x**

* * *

"…the Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding Volcano's, they tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull…just for future reference…" Jokers hard, angry drawl was only made bearable by the light shimmering of humour. Lessa winced, chewing her lip, simmering in a thick stew of guilt, the dull click of the intercom shutting off was the signal for the beginning of the debrief.

"We nearly died out there and your pilot is making jokes?" The young Asari, Liara, was wide eyed and indignant, Kaiden shook his head,

"Joker just pulled our asses out of the fire, I think he can be forgiven for making a few bad jokes, no?" His eyes were hard, but his voice was still soft and warm, _I doubt that voice could ever sound cold.. _

"I see…" Liara had the grace to sound penitent, "It must be a human thing, I have little experience with your kind commander…but I am most grateful to you, without you I'd most certainly be dead, or in the hands of Saren." She rubbed her face, "Truthfully, I couldn't say which fate is worse." She offered a wan smile,

"Do you know why Saren wanted you?" Kaiden rolled his shoulders a little, "Do you know something about the conduit?"

"Only that it was connected somehow to the Prothean extinction…." A light seemed to fill her, "You see, that is my real field of expertise, my life's work…I have studied the Protheans for nearly fifty years." Liara bit her lip, _a very human gesture,_ Lessa smiled at her, realising how young this woman was for her kind, resisting the urge to put her arms around her.

"Fifty years?" Lessa smiled, "How old are you Liara?" The young woman looked at her with confused eyes that quickly became friendly as she locked onto Lessa's smile; an expression that, Lessa was realising, made her stand out as particularly friendly among the battle hardened, stoic looking soldiers around her. _This poor girl must be so intimidated, _Liara smiled softly,

"I am embarrassed to say that I am only one hundred and six…"

"Damn…I hope I look as good as you when I'm that age." Ashely cut in with a barely perceptible smile and a half laugh, it was enough to make Liara relax a little more, she laughed a little,

"A century may seem like a long time to you, but by the standards of my own people I am barely more than a child… it is because of this that my theories on the demise of the Protheans are often ignored." She looked so angry, so downcast that it made Lessa want to hold her like a child.

Instead she got down to business,

"I actually have a theory about how they disappeared." The Asari gave her a sceptical, weary look as if she already knew what she was going to say,

"Please, Miss…"

"Shepard." Lessa filled in gently,

"…Miss Shepard, I mean no offence, but I can assure you that I have heard every theory formulated."

"They were wiped out by a race of sentient machine's called the Reapers and we have a recording of Saren and your mother which suggests this and a very explicit, albeit confused vision that still gives me nightmares to back it up." Lessa steamrolled her protests, watching the information sink in. She had expected the scientist to look angry or irritated at being disproved, however all she saw was shock, dawning realisation and real, intense interest.

"The… The reapers! But…I have never heard…" She looked at Lessa with genuine excitement, "The vision, how did you gain it?"

"There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime, I was…there when Saren and Benezia attacked." She took a shaky breath, feeling Garrus rub her back soothingly, "They said something about me being able to use the beacon and then the pushed me towards it….it burned a vision into my brain…I…" She swallowed the lump in her throat and twisted her mouth, "I'm still trying to sort out what it all means."

"A beacon…of course!" Liara leaned forward, mouth tight, "The beacons, they were designed to transmit information directly into a users mind, they are very rare, especially beacons that still function. That explains why Eden Prime was attacked, to acquire a working Prothean beacon…" She blew out a puff of air, "It would be worth almost any risk." A spark of something flicked across her pretty features, "But they were programmed to only work with Prothean physiology, which would explain why the vision was so painful for you…in fact, I'm surprised you survived…" She gave Lessa an intense look, "Very surprised, you must be incredibly strong willed."

"This isn't helping us find Saren, or the conduit." Kaiden cut in,

"Of course," the look was gone, "I am afraid, I do not have any information about their whereabouts…" _she does look genuinely sorry, _Lessa felt a pang of disappointment,

"Nonetheless, I think we should bring you along… you're expertise on the Protheans could be of great help," Liara was visibly pleased by the use of the word, expertise,

"And her biotics could be useful when the fighting starts." She was a little more worried by Wrex's reasoning.

"Thank you commander." She nodded, "I cannot think of anywhere I would be safer than here…" Her eyes became unfocused, she swayed a little, "Oh…forgive me, I am…felling a little light headed." She staggered, causing Lessa to jump up and steady her,

"Doctor T'soni, when was the last time you ate…or slept?" She caught Kaiden's eye, "We should get Dr Chakwas to check you out." He nodded, a small smile on his, _incredibly soft-looking, _lips. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the shivery sensation that was wreaking havoc with her body,

"I…yes, thank you." Liara gripped her shoulder tightly, "It is probably just exhaustion, but it could not hurt to see a professional."

"I'll help her to the medbay." Lessa gave the younger womans waist a reassuring squeeze. Kaiden nodded,

"Very well, this debrief is over. Dismissed." he waved them away with a hard expression on his face.

As they walked slowly to the elevator, Liara slowly sagged, more and more of her weight resting on Lessa until she was almost carrying the young Doctor,

"Forgive me Miss Shepard, I hope I am not causing you discomfort."

"Nah… I can carry you." Lessa smiled: it was the truth, in her current state the Doctor could not weight more than one hundred and ten pounds, "And you can call me, Lessa, if you want…Garrus does. The rest call me Shepard."

"Then I'll call you Shepard." Liara said simply, they leaned against the elevator wall in companionable silence.

"So…" Lessa said softly,

"So…" Liara echoed, they both stayed silent for a few seconds before laughing together, "You know, Shepard…I'm glad you're here. You seem so much more…personable than some of the other crew members." Her voice was small and unsure. Lessa wrapped her spare arm around her and hugged her tightly, she seemed surprised, "Um…Shepard?"

"Sorry, I just thought you could use a hug." Lessa chuckled, feeling embarrassed, "Do Asari not do that?"

"Not…really, though I cant see why now…. I feel a little better actually." her pretty features lit up into a radiant smile and Lessa was struck by how beautiful she was, _hope I look as good as her when I'm over a hundred, though that's unlikely…._

"I'm glad." They began slow progress towards the medical bay, "You know the others, they're ok…they…well they just have a lot on their minds. And their all soldiers, or ex soldiers…or mercenaries. Not the lightest of hearts." The doors slid open, Karin Chakwas rushed to help them set Liara on the examination table. Lessa gripped the girls hand, looking into her wide, fearful eyes, "If you need anyone, don't hesitate to come to me."

Lessa bounced on the balls of her feet as the elevator doors pinged open, setting off so quickly that she ran into Ashley,

"Oh… shit, sorry Ash…uh, Chief." She swallowed nervously as the other woman eyed her stoically,

"Don't worry about it, Shepard." She stepped past her into the elevator,

"Hey, have you seen Kai- I mean, the commander? I need to talk to him about Liara." Ashley raised a brow, "That is Dr T'soni." _Dammit, why does she scare me so much?_

"Last I saw of him, he said he was going to relax. So he'll either be in his quarters or in the rec." The doors slid shut, leaving Lessa tossing up the two options: she wasn't really comfortable knocking on his door, but it wouldn't hurt to check the rec. With, what she was becoming painfully aware was an incredibly unmilitary saunter, she approached the rec, her hand hesitated over the door panel for a slight second before she opened the doors.

The room was in almost complete darkness, she could make out the slightest silhouette of a person, curled into a ball on the couch, hands covering its face. She hesitated a little and then stepped forward,

"Commander." She almost whispered, he didn't stir, a rising panic took hold, "Commander are you ok?" The lack of reply caused her to move quickly to his side. She touched his well muscled back, flinching a little as she felt the clammy, dampness of his shirt, he groaned a little,

"Commander?" Her voice raised enough to make him jerk,

"Shhh!" His voice was rough, "Don't shout." His hand moved, one, glittering eye visible in the inky dark,

"Are you ok?" She whispered, touching his forehead, finding it cold and drenched with sweat,

"I have a migraine." he hissed, "I'm an L2, I get bad migraine's."

"Have you taken any painkillers?" She rubbed his shoulder,

"No…they're in my quarters, I- usually carry them but…" He clenched his jaw and growled,

"I'll go to Dr Chakwas and-" She stood, readying to leave, when a strong hand clasped her wrist in an iron grasp,

"No." He pulled her down, "Just…go to my cabin, the door code is 26-32-41, my medication is in the top left drawer of my desk. Bring them back her." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "If you don't mind."

"Are you sure you want me to go into your cabin?" She couldn't deny the thought made her glow a little: he was placing real trust in her, by telling her the code. Even if he did change it after. Which he probably would.

"Yes. Please."

She went on fleet feet to his door, checking that there was no one present before slipping into his cabin and closing the doors behind her. Despite the inner 'good angel' telling her not to, she couldn't resist having a look around: no pictures of women, _which is good,_ but quite a few empty bottles of whisky, _which could be bad,_ the whole room had a distinct smell, that she was beginning to realise was his own. The realisation brought a warmth to the pit of her stomach. Shaking her head, she tapped over to his desk and opened the correct drawer, finding three separate bottles,_ shit, how many pills is he taking?_ She took them all, just in case. The area was just as deserted when she passed through again, face burning just a little.

"I didn't know which to bring." She set the three in front of him, without speaking, he took two of each, she chewed her lip, _wont that be a bit…much?_

"You're worried about me?" his voice slithered across her skin,

"That's a lot of medication, are you ill?"

"No." He chuckled, "But ive been taking every painkiller known to man since I was sixteen so…well you build up a resistance." She could just see the glinting points of his eyes, "You're incredibly sweet to worry about me." She blushed, grateful for the darkness,

"Well…you…I…You're welcome." She clasped his sweaty hand again, failing to suppress the small intake of breath as he squeezed back and covered her hand with his own.

"Could I ask you for another favour."

"Of course." She put her second hand on top of his two, slightly breathless,

"Help me to my cabin?"

When he was sitting in his chair, she stepped back, really looking at him: his face was white, almost waxy, but it seemed to be regaining colour as they spoke. His hair was drenched, like his shirt, which was clinging to his shoulders and stomach. _Nice…_ She shifted from one foot to the other,

"So what did you want?" He lifted himself slowly to retrieve a towel from what she could only assume was a wet room, "I assume you didn't come by the rec just to check on me?" He rubbed the towel across his handsome features, grimacing a little before sitting on the bed and pulling off his boots.

"I just wanted to let you know that Dr Chakwas said that Lia- Dr T'soni, would be fine. It was just exhaustion…" He nodded,

"That's good."

"Yes…but she…well, I think she feels intimidated by the crew. She might need to be treated gently until she settles in."

"She can't be given special treatment by any of the crew." He said simply,

"Of course."

"But there's nothing to stop you making friends with her." He smiled at her, relaxing his shoulders and slumping forward.

"Commander, where are we going next?" She lingered just a little, wanting to spend as much time as possible in this haven.

"We're going to deal with some assignments from Admiral Hackett, we'll dock on the Citadel to re-supply and then we'll be heading to Feros. After that… well, I haven't planned any further than that." They locked eyes and, though she could not track it, she saw something flash across his features. The moment stretched out, the air became thick, she swallowed and looked away.

"I better go."

"Yes. Of course." As the doors opened, she heard him shift, "Lessa?"

"Commander?" She looked over her shoulder at him, seeing the residual dregs of that earlier tension,

"Call me Kaiden. And….thank you."


	13. A Turian Smile

_The world was shaking all around her, the sky had turned blood red and the sound of a thousand, alien screams filled the air. The yelps of her own breathing drowned by a sudden, world shattering, deafening roar, but she was not afraid, rather she felt like an observer. Standing, she saw hundreds of alien creatures, of a species she had never known, running desperately, some stopping for those who fell behind, some ignoring them. She watched one fly past her, then stop turning to look up at the sky, she followed its gaze to look upon the vast, monolithic shape in the sky. A red glow began to become apparent and, as the glow became a glare, the machine let out its metallic bellow. From it came the light and fire of Armageddon, a red beam projecting from its furthermost edge, tearing all in its path asunder and, in it__'__s wake, the world became silent, but for the moans of the few lucky survivors, if the term lucky was applicable. The Prothean next to her, yes that__'__s what it was, turned to look at her: a galaxies worth of sadness in it__'__s many eyes,_

"_So now you see.__"__ It spoke a language that was not hers, yet that she understood, __"__Now you know. This too will be your fate.__"__ It raised its hands, indicating the carnage all around. It flickered and disappeared, the images became confused, garbled. There was a creature of vast and ancient intelligence, its venom and understanding terrifying beyond belief, a bloody, toothless mouth open in a wordless scream, buildings burning, fire consuming all. Whole worlds put to the torch as their inhabitants died, leaving behind only a few ruins and the stench of fear. One of the hulking machines turned to her and she felt its millennia old consciousness tear at her,_

"_We are the harbingers of your destruction__…__we know you Shepard.__"__ The machines roar reached a peak and thinned, becoming almost-_

-human.

Lessa sat bolt upright, mouth wide open, screaming, unable to quell the primeval fear that was ruling every inch of her psyche. Hands pulled at her, voices shouted, but none of it sunk in. A sharp, stinging blow to her cheek sent her reeling to the ground, sheets tangled around her legs and waist. The silence was thundering, she took deep, gasping breaths, like a trout torn from the river. She shook as she pushed herself onto all fours, head hanging, hair dangling, painfully aware of the eyes of all the other members of the crew who called this particular communal area home. A soft sigh as the door opened,

"Shit, Lessa, are you ok?" _Garrus_, the relief was so thick and strong in her throat, it may as well have been a ball of lead, trapped in her windpipe,

"Garrus." She croaked, her voice like sandpaper on metal, caring hands gripped her under the arms and lifted her to her feet, stopping momentarily as she scrambled to grab the precious treasure twisted in her blankets.

"It's ok." They guided her to the door, "How about some tea?"

"How about some whisky?" She retorted, feeling a little warmer, a little safer when he chuckled,

"I'll see what I can do."

The mess was dead, empty and dull. Lessa shivered, her teeth chattering against the plain white mug that Garrus had pressed into her hand before padding off to make some food. If not for the cold, she could have sworn that they were back at square one, sitting quiet and still in the silence of Garrus' apartment on the citadel, her ripping apart her own head, him trying to figure out what he could say to make her open up. _Garrus apartment was always warm, I was never cold there…_ The table shifted as he sat down opposite her.

"Was it the same dream?" She was beginning to know the signs of concern and affection on his alien features, they soothed her,

"No…It was…It was a lot like the vision the beacon gave me on Eden prime…but it was different." She fixed on his eyes, knuckles white, "But it was clearer. I saw…"

"What?" He reached out and took her hand, "What did you see?"

"I saw…I think I saw the Protheans, saw some of their last few days." She shivered, "I saw a creature that was so…it was so huge. It touched my mind." She touched the side of her skull, "It was like having…it was too big to fit in my head, it was so old and cold and…malicious." He squeezed her hands, rubbing them a little to bring them some heat,

"Do you think it would help to talk to Dr T'soni about this?" He mused, _he always has the solutions,_

"You know I think it might." She smiled, then sighed, "Do you…would you mind sitting up with me for a while?"

"Of course I wouldn't mind." He rubbed her shoulder affectionately, "Would you mind if we sit up in the hangar? I like it down there." She allowed him to guide her to the cavernous comfort of the hangar, settling down next to the goliath that was the Mako. For a while, she simply watched him work, her mind whirring away, running round and round in circles until it's shivers became physical. The need to speak about it all overwhelmed her,

"You know my best friend was called Shannon." She looked at Garrus, willing him to understand and, miraculously, he seemed to,

"Oh?" He tilted his head to the side, wiping his hands with a cloth,

"Yeah, we grew up together…on Mindoir." She smiled, laughing shakily, "We went to nursery together, we survived the Batarian raid together." She wrung her hands, stopping mid motion to save the small, worn picture she had been clasping since they had sat down in the mess from destruction. She placed it on her knee and smoothed it, handing it to Garrus. He took it with all the care it deserved, seeming to know that it was incredibly precious, "That's him," She sniffed, pointing to the young man in the photo with her,

"He's…unusual, isn't he?" Garrus worded his statement carefully,

"Yes.." She laughed, "He was, he had hetochromia… that's a condition where the eyes are two different colour, but even for that he was unusual."

"One blue, one brown." Garrus tilted his head a little further, "I do believe it suits him though, he's handsome as far as humans go."

"I thought so." She smiled, looking at the familiar face, with its cheeky smile, its messed milk coloured hair. "His mother and father both died when the Batarians attacked, my father adopted him, we lived together, ate together and then we went to Eden Prime together." She sniffed, feeling the pain well up, "We got engaged at one point, thought we were meant to be together, but that-" She shook her head, "That didn't work, but we still stayed friends, still stuck together." She took the photo, biting her bottom lip: it had been taken on the beach in Acapulco, one of his tattoo's was still scabbed, raw and red looking in the bright sunshine, "He made everything so easy, he always protected me from myself." For the first time since she had awaoken, she let herself cry, let herself grieve, "He was the first to know something was wrong,"

Garrus' face was grave, he knew what was coming, "He opened the door when he heard something…I told him to shut the door, to stay in the garage with me, but he was always braver than me." Her smile was manic, "I guess that comes from being teased about your look so often, he was never afraid….A stray bullet hit him, here." She pointed to the base of her throat, "He was in so much pain, I tried to fix it with medigel… I gave him painkillers, I tried to stop the blood." The pain was blinding, the memories more so-

_His wide, beautiful eyes fixed on her,_

"_You have to get out of here."_

"_No…no.." She was sobbing like a child, it was shameful, degrading, but she couldn't help it, "Don't leave me, please." The screams were getting louder, closer, his breathing came in shorter and shorter gasps, a particularly loud howl made her jump to the door. Peering through the gap, she felt her stomach lurch in horror: the creatures were pulling bodies and living humans like apart. _

"_Meme, come here." It was his pet name for her when she was upset, the one only he used, she took his hand, "When you leave." She shook her head, gripping her face gently with both hands he reiterated, "I am going to die, we know it and when you leave, I want you to burn the place." He groaned, coughing a little blood, "There are datapads, prototypes in here that I wont see them have…burn the place, don't let them get anything…" He trailed off, "Don't let them get me."-_

"So I burned the place." She hiccupped, "I waited until he died, I held his hand and stroked his hair and hugged him and ten, when he was dead, I burned the place." She sobbed quietly, jumping when gentle hands on her shoulders pulled her against a strangely angular body.

"You miss him." Garrus' voice was soft and low, like he was comforting a child, she nodded giving out tortured moans. The comfort she found from him was as surprising as it was effective, eventually she was quiet, simply sitting with her head on his shoulder, "It's ok to be destroyed by this, you know." This piqued her interest, "What's more important is that you rebuild yourself after it destroys you." She nodded, sucking in deep breaths through her nose.

They sat in easy silence for a while, her drawing her mind back together, him working slowly and carefully on the Mako before he stopped tinkering with the machinery and shook his head,

"We're going to be boarding a ship tomorrow… The Salarian on it, Saleon, I have history with him." He sighed, "He was a Doctor on the Citadel. Around about the time he was practicing, the market was flooded with illegally acquired organs, he was a main suspect." He sat next to her, "But we couldn't get anything on him…it eventually turned out that he was growing the organs _inside_ his staff… He was a cold, calculating criminal, one that I almost got." He clenched his fist, face unreadable, "But when it came down to it…I had to choose, sacrifice a few to catch him or save a few and let him go." She was shivering even worse now, chin resting on her knees,

"What did you do?" She swivelled her head to look at him, he mirrored her,

"I let him get away." He sighed, rocking back on his haunches, "But I wont this time…no, not this time." A strange gnawing fear had taken hold of her, _he's so angry,_ he fixed her with a piercing stare, "Will you come with me?" He tilted his head, "Onto the ship?" He swallowed, cracking his knuckles, "I- well…I would feel better, if you were there… with me."

"Then I'll be there." It was a simple statement, that took no notice of the realities of the situation, had no concern with the protocols of such actions. It was, Lessa reflected, the start of a real, strong friendship. He flashed her a Turian smile, reaching out to take her hand,

"Thank you."


	14. You're all hart

**Oh my goodness! Over 4,000 views and 53 followers, I cannot believe it! **

**I just want to thank every one of you right now!**

**Ok, so this chapter is short and sweet, but another will follow shortly! All reviews appreciated, especially constructive criticism, which helps me to better my writing!**

* * *

The ship hung maliciously in the blackness of space, dead and hollow looking, it gave every appearance of being empty, uninteresting. Garrus knew better.

All he could think was that _he _was on that ship, that slimy, honourless _bastard_ that had used living, desperate people as cash cows and shields. The anger was searing, like a hot coal in the pit of his stomach, fuelling him, taunting him and, beside him, Lessa was like a balm. Her calm, cool presence was spring water to his inferno, yet this angered him. He did not want to be soothed like an unruly child, like a brash youth, he needed the hate that was burning in him, otherwise he would not have the strength to do what was necessary, what was right. She was a gentle spectre on his right side, a contrast to the council Spectre, stoic and tense on his left. They whispered through the seemingly abandoned ship, stopping to listen to every small noise, every creak and crack, determined not to alert their quarry. Each room, each nook and cranny was searched without fail, until they approached the cargo bay and Garrus felt the first creeping fear that perhaps he was gone already…

A low, tortured moan echoed from the cargo bay causing three simultaneous reactions: Garrus froze, trying to place the nature of the sound, Alenko raised his weapon, assuming that it was hostile and Lessa sprang forward, assuming that it was the sound of someone in need of help.

"Lessa!" He yelped, fighting to keep his voice down, lunging to grab her arm, panic flooding his system as he missed by inches. She slipped his grasp and flew into the Cargo bay, _at least she's got her fucking gun out,_ he shook his head and sprang after her. She was like a ghost ahead of him, her feet pattering on the metallic surface just out of his reach as he fled down the labyrinthine series of corridors formed by the ships cargo. She turned a corner just ahead of him and yelped, back peddling into his field of vision in a blaze of muzzle flash.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Her heel caught, sending her sprawling to the ground, though her gun stayed elevated and steady, Garrus felt a pang of ridiculous pride as he ran forward. A warped, growling creature rounded the corner, its swollen mouth drooping, drooling a greenish, foul liquid. A shotgun blast downed it, blowing away half of its grey skinned torso. A few more piled around the corner screeching, twisted hands clawing at the air, a wave of biotic energy pushed a few back at startling velocity, breaking their wasted frames on the sides of metal cargo crates. Garrus thanked the Spirits for the commander, Lessa hand flipped smoothly onto her feet and was bludgeoning one of the beasts with the butt of her pistol, _She's getting better, adapting quickly, still too reckless, could have gotten herself killed…_ a flicker of anger, dulled by the adrenaline and focus that only battle could bring.

The last beast fell victim to a vicious biotic kick that sent it flying across the room and into a pile of cargo crates that shuddered and cascaded down upon it.

"So…do you think the good Doctors back at his crazy experiments?" Lessa was wiping gore from the front of her armour,

"Seems like it." Garrus growled, holding back his growing ire, "Lets go."

The doors at the end of room seemed to loom and shrink at the same time, his heart rate rose, his grip on his gun tightened. With a serene beep, the doors hissed open, revealing a sterile laboratory and- _him…_ The anger was searing, white-hot…and yet, that wasn't the right word for it, it was blisteringly cold, in that void there was no room for mercy, remorse or forgiveness, there was only what had to be done.

"Please!" The slimy little fucker actually sounded relieved to see them, as if he didn't recognise Garrus at all. "I'm so glad you are here, I barely had time to hide from those things."

"That's him." His voice was hoarse, low, "That's him, commander, Doctor Saleon." A furtive look flashed across the Salarian's face,

"I don't know what you're talking about! My name is Dr Hart!"

"Garrus." Kaiden looked at him levelly, "Are you absolutely sure it's him?"

"Positive." Garrus seethed, "You're not getting away this time, you sick bastard. I'd harvest _your_ organs first, but I don't have time."

"Your crazy!" The little shit looked at Lessa this time, probably thinking her gentle heart would save him, "He's crazy, don't let him do this to me! Please!"

"Don't!" The roar was not his, he felt disconnected from it, from his anger, "Don't ask for her protection, you _honourless coward."_ The last two words were like whiplashes,

"Garrus, that's enough!" The commander voice did not raise, but simply cut through the haze, Garrus bit his tongue, stepping away, mandibles clenched tightly to his face. "We will take him in, drop him off with the military." Alenko's suggestion was good, reasonable, it was the right way to do things, and yet…

"But! No- he has to pay for what he's done!" _He's won, again, that little worm has won,_

"Think about it." There she was again, like cold water on a burn, "If we kill him, we'll never know what he's been doing, how he's doing it. If we take him in, we can interrogate him and he can do his time." She clasped his arm softly, "He'll get what he deserves Garrus, I promise." _She can't guarantee that!_ And yet he _was_ soothed, he did believe her.

"I-… Ok." He put his hand over hers before fixing the Salarian with a frozen glare, "YOU, are a very, very lucky Salarian… you owe these two your life."

The frightened look turned to contempt, the quivering note to his voice turned cool and sterile as a surgical scalpel.

"Oh…Thank you. So. Very. Much." With surprising agility, Dr Saleon, or Hart as he preferred to be known, lifted a tray of surgical equipment and threw it towards the unprepared duo. Moments before the sharpened implements pierced their unprotected flesh, a wave of biotic energy flared out in front of them, blowing them off their course and flooring Dr Saleon as an added bonus. The ensuing fight was short and blunt, it left Garrus numb. _It's over._

Somehow, justice felt more like revenge…and it was just not as sweet or fulfilling as he had hoped. He almost wished that there had been no fight, that he had come peacefully,

"I almost wish he hadn't fought." He said it softly, quietly and without emotion. Lessa gave him a slow, contemplative look, then a sharp, half hearted grin,

"You know something, Garrus, you're all heart." He frowned at her, watching her squirm a little, she giggled, "Get it? HART…"

The laugh was as dry as dust.

But it was a start.


End file.
